Libertas, an Awakening
by ladyhungerhurst
Summary: Set during Insurgent, Tris turns herself into Erudite headquarters and Jeanine begins her tests. "Our bodies give away information much quicker than the mind ever will. It betrays us. It reveals secrets. It lets others know when we are aroused, when we are scared and what our motivations may be." Prepare for ANGSTY LOVE.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Divergent fanfic, so I had to make it Trinine.

Thanks to my Beta & OTT for helping me with this story.

I do not own the rights to any of this, just having fun.

Enjoy!

* * *

"It is your self-destructive behaviour, why else would you find yourself coming here?" The words were cool and destructive against her neck and they made her shiver. She was right, always right.

"I came here because it was the right thing to do. I chose Dauntless because I needed to feel free."

"But Erudite? It never crossed your mind?" She leaned in again, sitting her down in the chair in front of her. Her heels clicked the ground as she walked to the other chair, sitting down and crossing her legs.

"You know that it did." She hated how she asked questions to which she already knew the answer, only to observe the response. It made her feel as if she was a lab rat, but oddly, she also enjoyed being observed, being watched.

There was a moment of silence as Tris shifted in her chair, the harsh Erudite lights making her skin glow. She abruptly stood and the guards stepped to restrain her, but Jeanine put up a hand to stop them. She wasn't afraid of Tris. Or at least, she wanted to pretend she wasn't afraid of her.

"I came here so that you would stop killing innocents." Tris paced back and forth trying her best to calm her nerves.

"You can be predictable. Your Abnegation upbringing is deeply rooted in your program." Jeanine pushed her glasses up her nose and examined Tris, Jeanine watched how Tris stopped pacing and sat not in the chair, but on the coffee table so that she was just inches away from her. Their legs touching, skin on skin contact. Jeanine wanted to recoil from the sudden contact, but she stayed firm, unwilling to move or compromise.

Tris, at first said nothing. She just looked at Jeanine and stared into her cold grey eyes. What had happened to her that made her this way? She didn't feel like it was inherently Erudite, but something else. She had distanced herself from humanity so far, she wondered...

"Do you see yourself as a machine as well?" Tris asked. This question caught Jeanine off guard, Tris could tell. Her eyes dilated quickly and then returned to normal.

"I see humanity as deeply flawed, as deeply destructive. I see machines helping us reach a transcendence, a symbiosis if you will." Each word was carefully selected. Her voice was almost void of emotion.

"Machines can't feel, Jeanine." Tris said, carefully, softly. "Have you forgotten human contact?" Tris gently ran her index finger against Jeanine's leg, the inner soft spot between her knee and the hem of her blue pencil skirt. Jeanine gasped and sharply inhaled, surprised and curious.

"Perhaps," Jeanine stopped, her words caught in her throat. Tris' hand moved further up her leg, her fingers finding their way underneath her skirt, tracing circles as they moved upward, Jeanine gently put her hand onto Tris', stopping her in her progression. Jeanine exhaled softly, her thighs trembling, "you are less predictable than I originally thought." Jeanine stood and walked away signaling to the guards to take Tris away.

* * *

Tris paced back and forth in her cell, she finally sat down on the hard bed and stared at the cameras in each corner. She knew she was being watched and she knew it was probably Jeanine observing her. The walls were light panels, dim now, but they made her feel as if she was a lab rat under observation.

She knew this to be true.

She couldn't explain why she did what she just did. Why she felt the need to touch Jeanine seductively, _but she felt as if she needed it, as if she needed to be touched._ She still held a lot of preconceived ideas about Erudite, how cold and calculated they were, seeking knowledge and advancing technology to the point of the destruction of humanity. Knowledge is everything. The mind continuously prioritized over body. She had heard rumors that they even prefer the buzz of a machine to the physical contact of another human. _Stereotypes._

Coming here was probably a mistake, one that would end with her death. This, she was certain of, she felt the ache in her body as the realization began hitting her. She was drowning. She put her head between her hands and breathed deeply, slowly, trying to make her heart calm down. She felt sick. Tris suddenly stood and rushed over to the toilet, puking what little contents she had in the metal bowl. She could see her reflection at the bottom of the basin. Her short hair, hitting just below her jaw. She looked tired. Older. She had aged so much in such a short amount of time. She stood, shakily, gaining her balance and splashing cold water over her face.

Her right shoulder still stung when she moved it too suddenly. She wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt. Her father would have scolded her for this behavior. She made the choice to be the sacrifice and she should be honored and humbled to help as many people as she could. It was the best she could hope for.

But these were lies Abnegation told their children, Tris thought, no one truly believed these principles did they? Truly believed them?

 _It's your divergence, it makes you incredibly alone in this world._ Her thoughts, her patterns, her behaviors fell outside the confines of any one faction. She tried to regain some sort of self confidence again, but it was fleeting.

She came to be experimented on and die.

She was no more special than anyone else.

* * *

Jeanine sat at her desk of her apartment office. She stared at the monitor, watching Tris stare at herself in the mirror.

 _It must be difficult for her to be able to look at herself, Abnegation doesn't allow vanity._ Jeanine thought. _She's Divergent_. _Do not forget, she does not fall into one faction category._

Jeanine couldn't help but be fascinated by her. Not only was she Divergent, she had the aptitude for 3: Dauntless, Abnegation and Erudite. This was difficult for Jeanine to understand, how one could have thought patterns to all three, this was the most divergence she had seen, which made her wonder if one could have even more. There was still so much of the human brain that she needed to learn, to understand if she was going to ensure all of their survival. _Knowledge leads to prosperity, and in this it is to ensure our survival._

She pushed away from her desk then, standing and placing a hand against the wall, leaning and breathing. It was when she reminded herself how delicate the situation was, how so much of the survival of everyone was up to her, that she felt her body betray her.

 _The body is weak in comparison to the mind, it betrays us faster than our mind ever could, rendering us useless and weak._

Her breath quickened and her heart raced, she felt light headed. Her knees began to buckle, but she quickly slid to the floor, putting her head in between her hands and concentrating on her breathing. _Breath in, slowly, now out slowly._ She did this for awhile until her heart slowed and she stood again, slowly taking off her heels one at a time and walked to her bedroom.

She placed her shoes in their spot, carefully and with organization next to her other similar pairs. She looked herself in the mirror, her soft blonde hair was pinned back, her grey eyes looked sunken and tired. She was tired, exhausted. Her mind was awake, but her body, once again, her body, betrayed her. She unpinned her hair and let it fall freely around her face.

Her mother would have told her she looked wild, like Dauntless, being wild was not an Erudite trait, and she would pin it back tight and neat. As if the books she read cared about her appearance. It was not the material she was studying that would care about her appearance, she would remind herself, even as a young child, but those around her. If she ever hoped to have any influence over those around her, how she looked, acted and felt would be crucial to the formation of her perceived self.

She took off her soft white blouse, folding it and putting in the laundry basket. Next came her skirt, it hugged her body tightly, even after she undid the zipper, she still had to peel herself out of it. Her fingers touched her inner thigh and a tremble cascaded through her body, followed by a sudden warmth.

 _Why did she touch me? And why so intimately? Or, is it a better question, why did you allow it?_

She stripped away her bra and panties and looked at herself in the mirror. Her body wasn't as tight as it was in her younger days, but she didn't mind the softness of her curves now. She ran a hand over the softness of her belly. Jeanine remembered the years she spent hating her body, hating how it looked and how she would punish it for her own illogical thoughts and patterns. She, like many in her faction, would often be consumed by self control. _Self control is a commonality in many faction experiences, but each one manifests itself differently._ Nowadays she tried to control the amount of sleep she needed, hoping her body would give her just one or two more hours a day. She frowned, in the end, her body's needs always were the victor.

Jeanine turned from the mirror, and laid in her bed. The white sheets enveloped her body and laid plush on top of her. She was cold tonight, but mostly, she felt alone. She turned off the light and turned to her side staring into darkness. She was respected and feared by her colleagues, she knew she was harsh, cold and calculating. She had to be, especially with so much at stake. She took her job and her faction seriously; knowledge, she knew, would set them free from their destructive human behavior.

She often felt overwhelmed, but there was never time to show weakness.

She turned to her other side, her thighs rubbing together and her body tingled again, radiating from right below her stomach, outward. She closed her eyes.

 _Why did I allow her to touch me?_

Jeanine was curious, always curious. She made a mental note to explore Tris' behavior further.


	2. Chapter 2

Tris was awoken by the cell door swinging open. She sat up, her eyes taking a moment to focus. She saw Peter before her.

"Isn't it the traitor himself?" Tris greeted him.

"Hurry up Stiff, you have a date with the doctor." Peter spat back, letting her exit the cell before he grabbed her right arm, causing shocks of pain in her shoulder. Tris gritted her teeth and Peter smiled, "Oh, I am sorry, I forgot you got shot."

They walked down long light hallways that all looked the same, Tris tried to make mental note of where they were going. She knew it was going to take a couple passes before she could remember it.

She found herself entering into a laboratory, an MRI machine sat starkly in the middle. Lab assistants shuffled around, some working on machines in the corner, a couple women looking at charts, and then glanced up at Tris. They all began to murmur.

There was a viewing deck above, and it sent a shiver down Tris' spine. She didn't know how many people would be observing whatever tests they were going to be perform on her today. She wanted to know. She saw Jeanine exit the observatory deck and walk down the spiral metal staircase. Tris wondered how she was able to do it so gracefully in her heels. She never understood the draw or desire to wear such constraining shoes. Erudite women seemed to love them.

"How many people will be observing me today?" Tris asked Jeanine as she landed on the last step, stepping onto the concrete floors.

"Why should I privy you to any information?" Jeanine asked, coldly.

"I suspect you need me to go into the MRI in order to scan my brain, find the differences between mine and non divergent." Tris paused for a moment, Jeanine smiled, "I can make this incredibly difficult for you, as I recall you'll need me to stay completely still. This will be my bargain for you, you tell me everything you learn about divergence and I will cooperate fully."

Jeanine took a step closer to Tris, grabbing her face roughly with her hands, examining her, "A curious mind that would have done well in Erudite. A mind wasted."

"I am sure you will learn plenty from my mind, Jeanine. I want to know as well." There was silence. Jeanine pushed her face back, causing Tris to stumble, but she quickly regained her balance.

"I will let you know everything we learn about you, Beatrice. There are four others in the observatory deck. We will be taking scans of your brain to see any abnormalities, as you have so carefully deduced. That is all I can tell you as of now."

Jeanine walked back up the spiral staircase and Tris was escorted to the machine, she was strapped down and she waited. She felt herself enter into the tube, the lights were bright in here. She heard Jeanine's voice, "we will need you to stay completely still for 5 minutes while we take scans." In here Tris was reminded of Tobias' fear landscape, he wouldn't be able to handle being in this confinement for long. Small spaces comforted her, made her feel safe. She had no trouble staying still.

The time passed quickly and she felt herself being pulled from the machine. Jeanine was standing there, a smile on her face.

"I take it you found interesting results." Tris stated, she sat up.

"Oh yes, we did, but we have to take more tests before knowing for sure." Jeanine stated, almost giddy, "But first, I need you to take off your clothes."

Tris sat up straight, "Why?" She demanded.

"This isn't the time for modesty, Beatrice."

Tris hated the way she said her name, how she elongated the "triss" at the end as if to mock her new name, to mock her choice.

Before she could protest two guards came and began tugging at her clothes. She resisted. "Let go of me." She demanded. "Let go of me! I will do it myself!" She screamed and the guards backed away. She stared at Jeanine who was staring back at her, her eyes piercing and persistent.

Tris grabbed the hem of her shirt, slowly pulling it over her head. She balled it and held it out for someone to grab it, Jeanine took a step forward and grabbed her shirt. "The rest." Tris stood, unbuttoning her pants and taking them off. She stepped out of her pants and stood in front of Jeanine. She felt her cheeks flush. She was embarrassed, uncomfortable.

"Perhaps I wasn't clear, I need you to take all of your clothes off." Jeanine stated, handing Tris clothes to one of the lab assistants who was too uncomfortable to look at Tris. Tris silently thanked the man who grabbed her shirt and scurried off without ever looking at her body.

Jeanine may have the power in this situation, but she will not make me feel ashamed. Tris thought, she raised her head, her cheeks still slightly flushed and stepped until she was just a foot away from Jeanine. She looked her straight in the eyes, she reached back and unclasped her bra, she could feel her cheeks getting hotter, but she pressed on. The room around her became black until all she could see was Jeanine looking at her, examining her. She dropped her bra on the floor. She quickly pulled down her underwear, and hastily stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. She crossed her hands in front of her, as a feeble last chance at some form of dignity, but it didn't last long.

"Arms to your side." Jeanine barked. Tris complied. She was exposed, fully naked in front of the entire laboratory. She could feel her skin burning red hot. Jeanine walked slowly around her body, examining her. "You are in great physical shape, I can see the Dauntless initiation destroyed what would be considered an abnegation physique. Your thighs, buttox and abs are toned, muscles well defined."

"What is the purpose of this?" Tris asked, staring straight ahead, trying to find patterns in the white walls.

"We have to observe all parts of our subject."

"Divergence is related to thinking patterns, the brain." Tris stated, feebly.

"It would seem so, but it would be a scientific error to prioritize the mind solely over the body, wouldn't it?" Jeanine stated, she was close to Tris now. Tris could feel Jeanine's breath on her, goosebumps began to form along her arms and down her legs. Tris closed her eyes and cursed herself. "The body often gives us away before our mind does. It is capable of revealing truths before our mind will allow us to speak them." Tris remembered her father speaking of Candor agents who were trained in facial recognition patterns to tell if someone was lying or not. She knew it was effective because people would often be kicked out of the Candor faction for failing those tests. It was a precursor to truth serum, but she knew that a couple older Candor still taught and carried on the practice. It wouldn't surprise her if Jeanine had studied it.

Jeanine traced a line with her index finger from Tris' jaw, down her neck and along her collarbone. Tris inhaled sharply. Licking her lips. She was trying to stay focused. Jeanine gently brushed along the scar where Tris got shot, and Tris clenched her jaw.

"Is it through Dauntless training that you have learned to handle pain?" Jeanine asked.

Tris looked at her then, her eyes were curious, examining. She felt her face redden again, "I have always been good at dealing with pain." Tris told her, her eyes quickly averting Jeanine's. She looked around the laboratory and found that it was empty except Jeanine, Tris and one guard in the corner who was finding the floor fascinating.

When did they all leave?

"Interesting…" Jeanine stated, placing her hand gently on the small of Tris' back. Jeanine noticed goosebumps forming again, she smiled and gently guided Tris over to a table. "The examination is almost complete Tris, but first I need you to lean over, face down, on the table."

Tris felt her stomach knot up, and her body burn red hot. "Uh." She stammered, not moving.

"Do as I say Tris." Jeanine said matter of factly, removing her hand from Tris' back.

Tris did as Jeanine asked. She felt the cold metal of the table against her skin and she shuddered. She felt exposed, embarrassed and vulnerable. She didn't necessarily feel ashamed however, this realization surprising Tris, she didn't mind being in this position either.

Tris put her hands out in front of her, elongating her body and carefully moved her legs slightly apart. "How did you know what I wanted you to do?" Jeanine asked, her voice sounding more husky than Tris remembered it.

"I…" Tris didn't have an answer, just a natural reaction. "It felt right." was all she could think to say. She felt Jeanine trace a path down her spin, hitting every vertebra carefully. Tris felt her heart begin to race and her breath quickened slightly. Her body felt hot against the metal of the table. Jeanine continued her path downward, tracing along her butt cheeks, and down her thighs. She stopped right above her knee and she shifted to Tris' inner thigh. The same path Tris took on Jeanine the day before. Jeanine made small circles upwards her thigh, she slowly got closer to Tris' cunt, a space that no one had been but Tris' own hands.

"Why did you touch me yesterday?" Jeanine asked, still slowly tracing upwards, this time placing her free hand softly on Tris' left butt cheek.

"I don't know." Tris replied. Jeanine didn't like this answer and smacked Tris' ass causing her to flinch.

"Don't lie to me Beatrice." Jeanine said through clenched teeth. Her fingers continued upward and Tris felt the lower half of her body begin to slowly gyrate against the table.

"It was a tactic. To disarm you, confuse you." Tris said again.

Jeanine smacked her again, this time harder, causing Tris to moan.

Beatrice is finding this pleasurable, perhaps divergence thinking also leads to divergent sexual tendencies. Jeanine mentally filed this thought away in the "research further" section of her mental landscape.

Jeanine's hand continued traveling upwards, stopping at Tris' vulva, she could feel the slick wetness of Tris on her fingers.

"You look like you haven't been touched in a long time, like you're full of ice. I felt like you needed the warmth of human contact." Tris told her, honestly. She braced for the next smack, but it didn't come. Instead Jeanine pulled away, leaving Tris feeling unsatisfied.

Tris abruptly turned around looking at Jeanine who was back to observing her again.

"Your body gave away a truth the MRI could not reveal us about your divergence." Jeanine stated, wiping her slick fingers on Tris' stomach. Tris looked down and noticed the sheen on her abdomen, she could feel the wetness in between her legs. She looked up at Jeanine.

"I am right, aren't I?" Tris asked. Jeanine said nothing but turned around walking way.

"Make sure she gets new clothes and a shower. Bring her back to her cell." Jeanine told the guard before exiting.

Tris' smiled, she felt as if she got to Jeanine somehow, released a shameful secret of hers. Perhaps, in this game, Tris could win in her own way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tris was thankful that the shower she was awarded was warm. She was expecting a cold shower, they had even supplied soap, shampoo and conditioner. These were luxuries she would never take for granted.

She stood in the shower letting the water pound and rush over her. She didn't protest, she allowed Jeanine to spank her. _And you didn't mind it._ She didn't understand exactly what Jeanine was doing, one part of Tris understood that it was a power play, to torment and reinforce who was in charge. Another could be do to her divergence, was Tris' sexual preferences also divergent?

This wouldn't surprise her, as she was learning more and more about herself everyday.

She felt unsatisfied, as if an ache was built up and never released. She washed her face with the soap provided and rinsed her body of any residual suds left over. She turned off the water and grabbed a towel, quickly drying herself off. The guard stood watch, facing her. She was a Dauntless traitor she hadn't seen before, she had stunning red hair that fell in curls down her to the middle of her back, a tribal looking tattoo that encircled her neck and that continued what Tris could only guess was down her chest.

"How far does your Tattoo go?" Tris asked, she took the towel and dried off her hair, looking at the woman whose blue eyes now looked at her.

"My entire body." The woman responded.

"Impressive! Just the birds and the dauntless seal for me." Tris didn't know why she was trying to start a conversation, perhaps it was the weight of it all, and she just needed a moment of levity. Just to forget momentarily.

Tris looked to the stool to her right and saw the clothes she was to wear. She put on the underwear provided, and next the light blue Hakama style pants that tied at her waist. She wondered why this choice of pants. She noticed that they were loose at her thighs, but taught on her butt. A strange choice. She saw that there was no bra, and she put on the white shirt that was provided for her, a crop top that displayed her upper abdomen, but was tight enough to provide some support for her breasts. Any change in temperature would be apparent.

Tris sighed. She didn't understand the need for this outfit, _another play of dominance, a reinforcement that Jeanine is in charge._

The guard led her to her cell again. Tris was once again alone with her thoughts.

She hated these moments the most, left alone with no distractions so she was forced to think about everything. She often found herself lost in her head, wondering if she was ever going to stop hating herself. _Nah, that would be too easy._ Still, when she closed her eyes she saw Will's face, his beautiful face looking at her without any life in his eyes, raising the gun and her shooting him dead. She hated herself for doing it, but most of all, she hated Jeanine for creating the sim to begin with.

She looked at the camera in the corner and wondered how many people were watching her. Her bare feet tapped rhythmically on the ground. Her stomach growled and for a moment she felt betrayed by her body. Her body had been doing that a lot lately.

Tris wondered what had been awaken within her during the tests that Jeanine administered. The spanking, the mention of pain, and how utterly turned on she felt during it. She felt her face blush, no one had gotten that close to her before. How many times had Tobias tried for her only to push him away?

Her eyes lit up with a sudden realization, "The bargain, Jeanine. Did you forget? You didn't keep up on your end of the bargain."

Deep down inside Tris knew that the deal she had made with Jeanine was a sham. The MRI had already been taken, her cooperation from this end out wouldn't be as important as the first stages of the examination. She sighed and looked at her hands. They were cut up and rough, they looked drastically different than just a year ago when she was in the safety of Abnegation. A scar ran across her knuckles, initiation is something she would take with her forever, or at least, until Jeanine was done with the tests.

The cell door swung open and Peter was standing there.

"Follow me stiff."

Tris got up and followed Peter. "Do you know what time it is?" She asked him, he was silent. She cursed herself silently for not bringing her watch with her. Putting herself and the situation into some perspective would help her right now, at least calm her nerves. Give her some sense of truth and understanding.

She noticed they were not going to the laboratory, still, so many of the hallways looked exactly the same. She tried to keep track, left, right, right, left, right, right, she wasn't going to remember all of these, at least not her first pass. They took the elevator and Tris found them ascending. She felt her stomach drop, she knew this wasn't the place she would die, Jeanine had already showed her that once she had arrived to the Erudite headquarters. She felt a shiver run down her spine. This unknown, Tris was uncomfortable with.

The doors opened and Peter pushed her out of the elevator. Her bare feet sliding against the cool tile. A glass wall was to her right, and she noticed what looked liked living quarters. Peter opened a door and guided Tris inside, pulling the door shut. She turned around, reaching for the door handle, but finding it locked. She touched the glass and realized it was a much different material, denser. Bullet proof glass.

Tris turned around then, realizing she could never escape. She saw Jeanine walking towards her. Her hips were swaying and Tris realized it was due to a combination of two things: how tight her pencil skirt was, especially near her knees, and the heels she wore.

"Beatrice, thank you for joining me this evening." Jeanine motioned to a table that was set and dinner prepared.

"I didn't really have a say in the matter." Tris said, sitting down at the table. She realized she received plastic cutlery. Jeanine was afraid she might use it against her, and she was probably right. It wouldn't be difficult for Tris to kill Jeanine.

Jeanine sat across from her, scooting her chair in and putting a napkin on her lap. Tris mimicked her behavior.

Tris took a bite of what seemed like chicken, she had not eaten in so long, she began eating too fast. She realized this and slowed down, taking sips in between each bite.

"Is this an apology?" Tris asked, leaning forward staring Jeanine down.

"For?" Jeanine asked, reaching for her glass of wine. Abnegation would never allow such self indulgent behavior. It made Tris sick thinking of the alcohol Jeanine was ingesting while so many people were without.

"Not honoring your end of the bargain." Tris replied licking her plastic knife. She could tell the lack of manners bothered Jeanine.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" Jeanine asked, leaning back in her chair, propping her arm up and flipping her hair behind her shoulders. Her cleavage was showing and Tris had to actively fight not looking.

"I am curious." Tris started, "About divergence, about my own body, and I would like to know what you will do to me. My type is dangerous to your understanding of the world and I would like to know why. "

"We found out information about your brain." Jeanine started.

"Well no shit Sherlock, I thought that MRI was scanning my ass." Tris responded sarcastically.

Jeanine scoffed and continued, "It has to do with your lateral prefrontal cortex, and it is abnormally large in comparison. Do you know what the prefrontal cortex is responsible for Beatrice?" Her questions were condescending, but Tris scanned her memory banks trying to remember what they learned in school.

"Uhh...it is responsible for a lot of things, for planning complex cognitive behavior, personality, decision making, moderation of social behavior..."

Jeanine's eyes lit up and she leaned in, observing the subject in front of her.

Tris looked at her, her grey eyes sending shivers down her spine. She swallowed, continuing, "At its most basic function, it is considered to be the orchestration of thoughts and actions towards internal goals."

"Why, someone paid attention in school." Jeanine said laughing. "You see Beatrice, your lateral prefrontal cortex is large, the largest I have ever seen, but your orbitofrontal cortex is remarkably small. What do these two factors indicate?"

Tris felt as if she was in a class room. Then she realized that every room was a classroom when there was more than one Erudite. She understood where Jeanine was going and all her actions leading up to this point, her willingness to put herself on the line time and time again…

"I engage in very little reward seeking behavior." Tris stated flatly.

Jeanine leaned in closer, smiling a little, reaching across the table, stroking Tris' cheek, "Not just that. It does not merely indicate something about your behavior, but about your desires. Her fingers traced down Tris' jaw, "You are not reward motivated. Yet, you are extremely good at directing your thoughts and actions towards your goals." She stood then walking around the table to be at Tris' side, "This explains your tendency towards harmful-but-selfless behaviors and perhaps, your ability to wriggle out of simulations."

Jeanine took Tris' mouth to her own and kissed her, gently at first, running her hands through Tris' hair. Tris was caught off guard, but she did not protest, she welcomed Jeanine's lips on hers and she found herself reaching to grab Jeanine in any place she could, she found her hand on the back of Jeanine's neck, pulling her in closer for a deeper kiss. Jeanine grabbed Tris' collar pulling Tris up so they were standing. With her free hand, Jeanine pushed all the plates to the floor and pushed Tris on top of the table. Tris was surprised, Jeanine was stronger than she looked. Her hands were soft on Tris' body, hands that had only worked behind computers and in laboratories their whole life.

One of Jeanine's hands found its way up Tris shirt, cupping her breasts. She softly squeezed and Tris moaned, breaking away from the kiss and leaned her head back. She wasn't going to pretend that it didn't feel good-it did. Jeanine took Tris' nipples in between her fingers and softly squeezed, and then suddenly hard. Tris gasped in pain and shot her hand up to push Jeanine's arm away, but she was stopped by Jeanine who pinned Tris' arms above her with one hand.

Tris' eyes grew wide. She wasn't going to let Jeanine control her and pin her down. She knew she had to plan the moment just right. Jeanine kissed Tris again, this time roughly, teeth against bottom lip, tugging and pulling. Tris struggled to keep up, she had never been kissed like this before, her lip feeling raw and exposed.

Tris wrapped her legs around Jeanine's waste and gyrated against her body. Jeanine pulled back from the kiss and Tris took her moment, using her core, she swung around Jeanine, pulling her beneath Tris, so that Tris was the one on top. There was a moment of protest, Jeanine's legs kicking and her arms flailing, but Tris stayed firm, grabbing her by her shoulders and pinning her down.

"Why are you doing this?" Tris asked. Jeanine tried to struggle to get out of Tris' grasp, but Tris pinned her down. Jeanine closed her eyes, then opened them again, and Tris saw immense sadness in her pools of grey. Her humanity flooding in, washing over them both like a monsoon. Tris realized why she needed this, she was empty, uncherished.

Tris gently stroked Jeanine's cheek putting her thumb where her tears should have been. She wondered how many years had it been since this woman had cried, or how many years since she laughed so fully her belly ached and cheeks were sore. A silent tear fell down Tris' face, landing on Jeanine's lips. She gently wiped it away with her thumb and kissed Jeanine softly on her mouth. She could feel a tender exhale escape from Jeanine's parted lips and Tris pulled back, getting off Jeanine and holding out her hand to help her off the table. Jeanine took it and stood up, straightening her skirt and fixing her hair. Jeanine walked silently over to the front door, using her remaining strength to focus on the task at end: opening the door to escort Tris out of her apartment.

"Take Tris back to her cell." Jeanine instructed Peter.

Jeanine watched Peter take Tris down the hall and into the elevator. As Tris turned around, she found Jeanine's eyes locked on hers, their gaze only broke as the elevator doors closed. She finally exhaled.


	4. Chapter 4

Jeanine touched her lips softly as she looked at the mess before her. Dishes broken on the floor, shards of glass everywhere. She realized it was illogical of her to push the dishes on the floor, the shards of glass could have made easy weapons if Tris hadn't been preoccupied.

She walked over to the shards and began cleaning up the mess, carefully picking up the pieces and throwing them away into the trash compactor. She felt.

Vulnerable, soft, her heart began to ache and Jeanine continued to work, hoping to sweep the feelings aside.

She inhaled deeply, exhaling loudly. She finished cleaning the last crumb off the floor, and found herself back in her office. She needed to see Tris, she needed to see her again.

She turned on her computer monitor, looking at the cell, it was empty-they hadn't returned yet from her apartment, then, she saw the cell door open and Tris, barefoot, enter. Tris laid down on the bed. Her fingers touching her lips, just as Jeanine had been doing.

Tris had cried for Jeanine, she had realized. _What had she seen in my eyes?_ Jeanine shook her head and remembered what the prefrontal cortex was also responsible for: empathy. This psychological experience fascinated Jeanine, for she was often told she lacked empathy. And perhaps her critics were correct on that account. Jeanine could logically think about how actions could affect others, but to experience the emotional toil behind lived experiences was something else entirely.

Jeanine opened up a document labeled, "Beatrice Prior" and added more field notes:

 _The Subject enjoys divergent sexual practices, namely power play. However, given the extent of the two encounters it seems as if she doesn't enjoy giving up her power completely. Subject was confused by the sexual advances, but participated in them fully, or at least, enough to see where the situation was heading towards. This shows calm calculations in what would normally be high stress situations_

 _She doesn't seek rewards, but she empathizes with others, even those who she perceives as an enemy…_

Jeanine stopped typing for a moment and looked at Tris' cell again, noticing how she was laying on her side weeping. Even from the distance she could see the tears streaming down her face and the feeble attempts by Tris to wipe them away.

Jeanine felt a pang in her heart that startled her, she stood grabbing her chest wide eyed at the screen. _What is happening to me?_ She quickly switched off her computer monitor and turned away, walking down her dark hallway, she refused to let the lights shine. Her heels clicked against the tile ground rhythmically and she hummed along, trying to make her body once more void of what was creeping in.

Jeanine reached her bedroom undressing hurriedly, putting her clothes away in their proper places and putting on pajamas. She needed to feel something against her skin, something other than the covers. She laid down and felt the same loneliness she felt every night before bed. Closing her eyes she knew exactly what Tris saw in them, why she cried for her. In her pursuit of knowledge, in her quest for prosperity, she was hollow.

This was a feeling she was familiar with, but it was never comfortable. She was born in Erudite, and chose Erudite. During initiation she would try to fill the void with one night stands with other initiates. Many were due to intoxication and youth, sloppy fumbling and quiet moans during the night. She never allowed herself to get too close to anyone, keeping a distance so as not to cloud her judgement or thoughts during initiation. She got a reputation of being an Ice Queen, this she thought was silly, when they knew how her body burned during their encounters.

She easily graduated the top of her class, standing in front of everyone claiming, _I_ _ntelligence is a gift, not a right. It must be wielded not as a weapon but as a tool for the betterment of others._ She often wondered if others thought that she was straying from this goal, this important tennant to their faction. If only she could share the information she knew about what was outside the gates, they could, and would, understand.

She had started courting a potential suitor, a man who was the forefront in networked communications, upgrading the wireless networks that stretched across all factions. She had found him fascinating, and she loved how he loved his work, his problem solving abilities worked in ways she had never seen before and she had difficulty understanding his thought patterns. She knew that she was to take the test to be the next faction leader, and while the test is said to be objective, she knew that those within a faction prefered their leaders to have families. She thought he would do.

She found herself laughing along to his corny jokes, tears falling from his eyes. She loved the way he played with her hair and sang her sweet lullabies until she fell asleep. Most of all she enjoyed their conversations and fervent debates, he saw the faction system as something that was meant to only be temporary, and as wireless communications opened up between the factions and that there was a faster flow of information and dialogue that they would understand about their differences-that they would reach some sort of one faction.

This mode of thinking, while philosophical, infuriated Jeanine at a core level. The faction system allowed individuals to know where they belong and without that sense of belonging, of known responsibility, society would be thrown into chaos.

He would laugh and claim that her social theories assumed that knowledge and information were a privilege.

"It is a gift, not a right. We must be responsible with that information, and those who do not live by those codes will abuse it."

"Jeanine, darling, but what about the information that they can give us? Our advancement as a society would only increase exponentially. Knowledge leads to prosperity and the only way we can prevent further conflict is through the flow of information throughout all factions."

She smiled then, "What if that information would cause widespread panic and fear? What if we knew a piece of information and realized that for the betterment of everyone, for the safety of everyone it was best to keep it to the Erudite faction?"

He shook his head, "No information is worth keeping a secret, fear is a natural human response."

That night she would kiss him goodnight for the last time. The next day he died from an electrical malfunction while wiring a communication tower on an outdated building.

She found herself unable to cry.

Two months later she would find she was pregnant, a week after learning this information, she would visit her doctor to undergo an abortion. Suddenly she felt whole again, refreshed. The last bit of her past gone from her body and she felt as if the ghost was no longer shadowing her.

A year later she took the Intelligence test to become the next faction leader. It was a breeze as she had and still has the highest IQ of anyone in Erudite.

She made a silent commitment to herself that day, while taking the oath to be the new faction leader, that she was going to love her work and be dedicated to only that. She thought it would be enough.

Laying in her bed now, Jeanine clutched the sheets tight to her chest. Had Tris, a young woman, unlocked something within her she had put away years ago?

If so, Jeanine wasn't going to allow that to happen, not with so much at stake, being so close to deciphering level 3 divergence.


	5. Chapter 5

Tris' cell door opened and she was greeted by Peter.

"Don't you have anything else to do? Kick puppies or whatever grave thing you're up to?" He ignored her and she followed him down the hallway. Tris walked in front of Peter trying to keep track of the hallway pattern, _Left, right, left. Right, right..._ Tris realized she was in a new room. In the center was a partially reclined chair, it reminded her of her Dentist and how scared she'd be for checkups.

"It's okay Beatrice," she would say, rubbing her arm softly, gently, "you will be fine." And every time her doctor was right, and she'd leave with a toy that she'd have to give away.

Jeanine was sitting at a desk in the corner behind a screen. She looked up as Tris entered, walking over to the chair. Tris sat on the chair, leaning back. Jeanine noticed that Tris' hands were shaking.

"Scared?" Jeanine asked motioning to her hands. Tris clenched them in fists.

"I am angry." Tris responds, flatly.

"Interesting." Jeanine responded, helping strap Tris into the chair.

"Aren't you suppose to be running a faction and planning a war?" Tris asked, harshly, "What are you doing here, running tests on a young girl?"

Jeanine smiled then, running her hand down Tris arm, placating her, "You choose different ways of referring to yourself depending on what is convenient, are you a little girl or are you a woman? I don't think a little girl would have behaved the way you did last night." Jeanine responded, carefully tucking Tris hair behind her ear. "How do you really view yourself? As one or the other? As both? As neither?"

Tris was quiet for a moment, her eyes softly closed, images of the night before flooded in. She knew she wasn't a little girl, not anymore, not after all she had seen and done and experienced.

"How do you see yourself, Jeanine?" Tris asked.

"Mockery is childish Beatrice, it does not become you."

Tris couldn't help, but respond, "Mockery is childish Jeanine, it does not become you."

Jeanine took the serum out of the black box. Tris tilted her head, and Jeanine inserted the needle in Tris' neck. Jeanine then jabbed one of the buttons on the computer with her finger, and everything went black.

Jeanine walked over to her desk, Tris' simulation was playing on the screen. _She's a child._ Jeanine reminds herself, _a scared and angry child._ Her heart sank a little, and she sat down in her chair

This simulation revolved around Tris' mother, Jeanine noticed how beautiful she was. She had the simple beauty of Abnegation woman, with the wildness of Dauntless. Her hair, while tied back against her face, had some fly aways that softened her features.

They were on a bus, taking a commute through town. She could hear her mother talk about how there was much work to be done, that the war had caused so much damage, and with so much more guaranteed to come.

Jeanine knew this to be true, felt it deep within her bones. So many people had died already, and she knew more casualties were only to be expected.

"Where are we going?" Tris asked, and Jeanine watched as her mother smiled, a soft comforting smile, "We're going to Erudite headquarters."

Jeanine knew that Beatrice was still coping with her parents deaths. Both just moments after one another and just a couple weeks ago. Jeanine understood the emotional turmoil of losing someone you love, how it is easier to distance yourself from the emotions to carry on with your life. Tris was carrying on.

Jeanine knew that if she could trick Tris' mind into believing that her parent's were still alive then she had created a successful simulation serum, that their search to control Divergence would be over.

"Erudite are a mix of good and bad, Beatrice. Where would we be without our doctors, scientist or teachers?"

Tris' mom smoothed down Tris hair.

"Take care to remember that, Beatrice." Jeanine watched the simulation, it was progressing as she hoped. But as her mom continued to walk forward, Tris wasn't following her. Jeanine knew the simulation was no longer working. She frowned then, watching as Tris told her mother she loved her only to explode the glass with her finger.

Jeanine walked over to the simulation chair, Tris' eyes slowly opening, glistened with tears.

"You'll have to do better than that." Tris told Jeanine.

Tris hands began to shake again, anger rising up within her. The simulation reminded Tris of all that she had lost at the hands of Jeanine. It was her serums, it was her plan to overthrow Abnegation, it was her. It was her.

"This was only the beginning." Jeanine told her matter of factly wiping Tris' tears away from her eyes.

Jeanine removed the straps that were holding Tris down and told her to stand. Tris complied.

"You're acting drastically different than yesterday's set of tests." Tris commented, hatred thick in her voice.

Jeanine looked at her narrowing her eyes. Tris met her glare with equal indignation.

"How do you see yourself Jeanine? A dominant woman who needs to control all those around her or a woman who is heartbroken and deeply alone? Or are they one in the same?"

Jeanine grabbed Tris right arm, pulling it deftly behind Tris back. Tris cried out in pain, falling face forward into the chair. With her other hand, Jeanine pressed against Tris' right shoulder, causing Tris to scream in pain, kicking wildly.

"Stop struggling and I won't have to be so rough." Jeanine whispered between teeth in Tris' ear. Tris stopped struggling and Jeanine flipped her over so that they were facing one another.

Tris' breathing was heavy and hot, just inches away from Jeanine's face. Tris' eyes were welling up with tears, the pain from her shoulder causing shockwaves throughout her body. Their eyes locked and Tris silently begged to be let go, biting her lip to keep from sobbing.

"I would appreciate some manners, Beatrice." Jeanine said, stepping back and letting go of Tris.

Tris remained silent, rubbing her shoulder and trying to calm her breathing.

"Manners, Beatrice."

Tris looked at Jeanine then, and saw how she smiled, "Thank you, Jeanine." Tris replied bregrudedly.

Jeanine frowned, "We will work on your manners, but until then, come here Beatrice." Jeanine walked over to the desk in the corner, she pulled out a black piece of cloth. Tris was puzzled. "Turn around." Jeanine instructed Tris, she placed the black fabric around Tris eyes and it became very apparent the purpose of the cloth.

"Sensory deprivation. You want to test how sensory deprivation works on me." Tris commented, slightly startled. The back of her neck hair prickled and she realized that Jeanine was close to her neck again, or at the very least, inching closer. Jeanine took Tris by the hand and led her over towards the simulation chair.

"Now listen very closely to me Beatrice. I am going to help you undress and I am going to have you sit on the chair again."

Tris nodded in confirmation and gasped as she felt Jeanine undo the tie on her pants. Without her sight she was incredibly vulnerable. She tried to listen closely, she could hear Jeanine's soft breathing in comparison Peter's heavy breathing in the corner. He was always a mouth breather. She tried hard to control her body's reaction to the touch of Jeanine pulling off her pants. Tris gulped and she heard heard how her saliva traveled down her throat and the sound that her tongue made as it graced her lips, lubricating out of nervousness.

"Hands up." Jeanine instructed once more and Tris followed, she could hear as the fabric slid off her skin and up and over her head.

A moment passed and she could hear Jeanine's heels clicking against the ground, presumably, back to her desk. _What else is she going to do to me?_ Tris thought, but instead of fear building up inside her, something else was happening. Tris felt her cheeks begin to burn red hot.

Jeanine returned, Tris surmised from the sound of her heels and the way her hair stood up on her neck, alarming her of a predator. Jeanine placed a hand on Tris' good shoulder, a soft gasp escaped Tris' lips. Tris suddenly felt the need to apologize, "I am sorry." She barely whispered, her nipples hardening. Tris clenched her jaw, she was nervous, but excited. All of her senses were raised and she could almost feel her skin. She felt how the cool air touched her bare skin, causing soft goosebumps to form up and down her body. Tris could hear her own heart beat, loudly thumping in her chest from excitement and fear.

"What did you mumble, Beatrice?" Jeanine whispered hotly against Tris' neck.

Tris bit her lower lip, "I am sorry."

"Why would you be sorry?" Jeanine asked, Tris could feel Jeanine's body close to Tris, vibrations bounding and building.

"I…" Tris started, stammering, "I don't know why I said that."

Jeanine placed a hand on Tris' waist, and Tris' body tensed up, goose bumps finding themselves back again along her body. Jeanine's thumb gently rubbed the inner part of Tris' stomach, both of them noticing how soft each other were. Tris raised her hand and grabbed what she hopped was Jeanine's waist, steadying herself. Tris could feel her knees getting weak.

Jeanine watched as Tris' mouth parted, and her breathing got heavy. She was fascinated how easily aroused Tris got from being naked, being observed and the slightest of touch. She had never seen anyone so physically sensitive before. Jeanine found it charming how easy it was to control Tris' body this way, and she wondered if Tris had known this digression about herself before hand or if Jeanine had unlocked something previously unbeknownst to the young woman. Jeanine noticed Tris' erect nipples, and smiled, there was plenty of other signs of Tris' arousal, the way she had to hold on to Jeanine to keep herself steady, Tris' face was a soft pink from blushing, her breath heavy and languid with anticipation, her chest pushed forward. Jeanine noticed how Tris licked her lips slowly, trying to gain control of her own body, Jeanine knew that Tris was losing control, but trying desperately to hold on to it.

Jeanine decided then she didn't want to put Tris back in her chair, she was going to receive lots of pleasure from seeing Tris on her knees in front of her. The thought alone deepened her smile in anticipation. _I am going to enjoy the sight of this._ The blonde haired woman looked at the vibrator in her hand then, turning it on, and noticed how Tris' body tightened

"What is that?" Tris asked, her voice soft, she wasn't afraid, Jeanine realized, Tris was curious.

"The sound you're hearing is a vibrator, Beatrice. Do you know what that is?" Jeanine asked her, her voice calm and cool. Tris shook her head in the affirmative, a blush cascading down her neck, reddening her chest.

"I have heard that Erudite prefers the touch of metal to that of human contact, yes." Tris replied, taking a jab at Jeanine.

Jeanine frowned, squeezing gently Tris' inner waist. "It isn't that we prefer, we're just not hesitant to allow advancements in all areas of our lives, sexual or otherwise." Jeanine responded, placing the egg against the inner thigh of Tris. Tris flinched, feeling the buzz radiate up her leg. She was confused as to how this could be deemed sexual.

Jeanine flicked the switch to make the egg vibrate faster, raising it and placing it on Tris clit. Tris gasped, grabbing onto Jeanine for support. Tris inhaled sharply, seeing nothing, she could only feel and she was feeling everything.

"Do you like how that feels, Beatrice?" Jeanine asked, leaning in close to Tris neck, softly rubbing her lips against the side of Tris neck. Tris remarked how soft her lips felt against her neck, and how earnest her pussy was becoming, wet and supple. Tris bit her lower lip, trying to gain control of her legs, of her knees, of her body. _Fucking Erudite technology._

The egg was rubbing back and forth against Tris' clit, and Tris' hips met the rhythm of Jeanine's movement. Tris' hand found its way to Jeanine's shoulder, she was using all her strength to remain upright. Her thighs were tight, and her toes curled under and off the ground. Tris had never felt this way before.

A loud and long moan escaped Tris' lips and her head shot back. She was complete feeling, and her body had taken over. Tris no longer cared that Peter was in the room watching her enter into a state of no thinking, of pure feeling. She no longer cared that she was under the control of Jeanine or that there was a war brewing outside the walls. She felt so good, so fucking good, she didn't want it to stop.

Jeanine turned up the speed and applied more pressure to the egg, cupping her hand around Tris cunt. Tris screamed in ecstasy, her breathing quickened and she found herself clenching and grasping wildly on Jeanine's body. Whatever Tris was doing in response, she couldn't control. She felt her stomach tighten, her muscles contracting, electric shocks radiating throughout her body, from her arms, down to her toes. Jeanine placed her free hand around Tris neck and was surprised that Tris didn't fight it off, but instead seemed to enjoy it. She placed slight pressure and watched how Tris began to the ascent to climax, clutching erratically to anything she could grab, she saw the physical shakes spread throughout Tris' body, and heard how she mumbled incoherent words of pleasure.

Tris felt her clit throbbing and could feel her pussy juices dripping down her legs. She felt her legs clench, then her stomach and soon her whole body. She felt as if she was going to die, unable to breathe, and then suddenly, her body began to shake wildly, causing her legs to go weak, she landed harshly on her knees, collapsing into a writhing mess. Release. She felt a calming warmth spread throughout her body, her skin still sensitive, she stayed there on her knees panting. She felt aftershocks in her thighs and she couldn't control the random trembling. Tris felt amazing, as if something was awakened inside of her and she wanted to feel that way again.

Jeanine reached down and took off Tris' blindfold, Tris looked up at her, eyes hazy and filled with lust, but thankful.

"At last, Beatrice, I have you on your knees, right where you belong." Jeanine kneeled and cupped Tris face gently. Tris leaned into her touch and closed her eyes.

"Thank you." Tris said softly.

Jeanine grinned.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

*Enjoy!  
Thanks to My Beta RenardeRousse

As Tris walked down the hallway, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. Her cheeks were glowing with a soft pink blush, and her eyelids felt heavy. She was tired, yet strangely awake. She felt the softness of the robe that was wrapped around her body acutely, and a sudden urge to hum. It was a tune she had heard people in Amity sing to themselves, she didn't know the words, just the melody. It was enough.

As she and Peter turned the next corner, she was taken aback.

"Four!?" He looked beaten, ragged, his bruised and bloody body being dragged down the hallway. He looked at her, eyes filled with tears.

Peter grabbed Tris to keep her from running to him, Four looked up then, half conscious and smiled, "You're alive. Thank God you're alive."

She reached out to touch his swollen face, "What are you doing here? Why are you here?" Here hands were shaking, she felt sick to her stomach.

"If you die, I die remember?" He told her as he was dragged further down the hallway. She pulled against Peter's grasp, struggling to break free.

"You stupid boy! You have to live!" She was screaming, thrashing, reaching her hand out towards him, her fingers barely brushing his sleeve. He was dragged the rest of the way down the hallway, taken to some place unknown. Tris screamed then, tears falling freely from her eyes.

Peter threw her in her cell, he couldn't look at her and he shut the door.

She hoped he felt ashamed.

Tris blinked, the walls were incredibly bright, _Why do they illuminate the walls?_ She was angry, and punched the wall, she felt the pain shoot up her hand and arm, satiating the fury she felt inside, _stupid boy, stupid boy, he wasn't suppose to get hurt. No one else was supposed to get hurt._ She kept punching and hitting and kicking. She could feel her knuckles crack open and the warmth of blood trickle down her hands. She was screaming wildly, _I came here to ensure no one else was murdered. Not Four, Oh God, not Four…_ She collapsed on the ground, her body exhausted and in pain. She looked at her hands, her knuckles were swollen and rivulets of blood were flowing down the side of her hand falling in quiet pools on the ground.

She put her middle knuckle in her mouth, sucking the blood that was coming out of it, the metallic taste coated her tongue and she spat it out. She stood then, shakily, walking over to the sink and putting her hands under the cold water. She winced on contact, it stung like hell, but after a moment, the pain subsided and she dried her hands, watching as the blood began to clot. She would get scabs, which would turn into scar tissue, her body giving her another reminder how much of a failure she was. She couldn't save Four. She couldn't save anyone.

She was being used. She had ensured everyone's death. Her attempts were pointless. She sat down on her bed, placing her head in between her hands and sobbed. It shook her entire body as she finally let it all out. The fears she had for Four, the death of her parents, she cried for Will, and the thousands that were killed at the hands of those who were scared. Just like her, just like everyone else. Fear drives people to do things they normally wouldn't do. It pits the factions against each other, fear she knew was stronger than pain.

 _But fear wakes you up, it doesn't shut you down._

She stopped crying then, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her robe. She went to the sink again, splashing water on her face, her hands shaking. Grabbing the edge of the sink, she closed her eyes, trying hard to steady her breathing. _Inhale, exhale, inhale_. The images began to flood in, reminding her what it was like to have one of your senses removed. Tris surprised herself, she was enjoying moments of her captivity, the ways that she was able to explore her divergence in a manner she never before thought possible. She didn't mind being observed, poked, prodded and brought to her knees, if it meant that she was able to orgasm as she did back in the laboratory.

She wondered if her sexual digressions were somehow connected to her divergence, or if they were something else entirely. She didn't think so, considering Jeanine's lack of divergence and her obvious enjoyment of the tests. _Where they tests though?_ Tris couldn't help but feel as if each time Jeanine touched her, there was a warmth coming from the ice cold woman. Tris shook her head, reminding herself of the full extent of her situation. _I am merely a lab rat, at the end I will be exterminated._

A cold shiver ran down her spine. She had never thought about death much, not even when she got shot. Perhaps it was her age, perhaps it was because of her prefrontal cortex. It wasn't that she believed she was immortal, that somehow her age gave her death-defying capabilities, she wasn't immature. She just never thought to pay attention to the eventual. _Everyone will die someday, some sooner than others._

On the bed Tris saw a change of clothes. Unfolding them, she noticed it was a soft blue dress made of jersey and a pair of underwear. She took off the robe and changed into the new clothes. The dress felt soft against her body and she hugged herself and closed her eyes.

She remembered her 13th birthday. She walked home from school and was surprised by her mother being home already.

"Shhh! Beatrice, don't tell your father." Her mother said sheepishly, grabbing Tris by the hand and bringing her upstairs to her room. Her mother always had unending energy, Tris should have known then her mother was not originally from Abnegation. The naivety of youth.

"Mother?" Beatrice asked, wide-eyed and curious.

Her mother opened the door to her room, and walked over to her desk. "I made you something, for your birthday." Her mother said, grabbing the dress on top of her desk and showing her. It was a beautiful grey fabric, and was soft to the touch. "I know we aren't supposed to celebrate our birthdays, but thirteen is a big year and…" Her mother got on her knees and hugged her, her eyes wet with tears, but she was smiling. She was happy.

"I am so proud of you, Beatrice. You're becoming a courageous woman."

Beatrice was confused, hugging her mother and feeling guilty about her new present. She looked at the dress, "Can I try it on?" Her voice was small and weak. It was traced with guilt, but she was still curious about her present, her new dress.

Her mother handed the dress to her and helped her put it on. Beatrice loved the way it felt against her skin, and she hugged her body. Her mother grabbed her by her hands and danced with her, swinging her around with vigor, they laughed and sang songs together, twirling and swirling until they both felt dizzy, collapsing on the ground, laughing.

Her mother reached out for her hand then, squeezing it, "In 3 years time you will make your faction decision. Whatever you choose, I will always love you."

Beatrice looked at her mother then, who was staring at the ceiling, a soft, sad smile on her mouth.

"I know mom." Beatrice said, placing a soft kiss on her mother's cheek. "Let's go make dinner." She said, helping her mother up from the ground.

Tris wondered if 13 was an important year for her mother, when her grandmother realized her mother wasn't a normal Dauntless child. Tris realized that her mother must have stuck out like a sore thumb, she was too bubbly, too happy, had too much energy and was running everywhere. She smiled. Her mother, so brave, so selfless, so loving. Her mother, who couldn't put faction before blood.

Tris hoped she inherited her mother's best traits. She smiled. The sadness that usually crept in was not there, instead Tris smiled. She was thankful for everything her mother had taught her.

Tris eyes shot open as Peter opened the door.

"Come with me." He said, matter of factly, his eyes quickly glancing up and down her body.

She walked alongside him down a familiar path, knowing full well that she was heading back up to Jeanine's apartment. She wanted to see her again, she needed to know what they were doing to Four.

"Did you know Four was here?" Tris asked Peter.

"Yes." He replied, hitting the button in the elevator, waiting for the door to shut, "Idiot walked into the headquarters thinking he could bust you out alone." He shook his head.

Tris smirked, it was a typical thing for Four to do.

"Is he okay?" She asked him, clenching the hem of her dress.

"Why should I give you that information?" Peter asked, glaring at her, "You always get what you want, but I won't give that to you." He told her, hands wrapped tightly around his gun.

"I don't get everything I want." Tris sighed.

The doors of the elevator opened and Peter walked her over to Jeanine's door, "You get dinner with Jeanine. I think that says something." Peter said opening the door and pushing her inside.

She heard the door lock behind her and Tris looked around. It seemed empty, cold. She rubbed her hands against her arms and walked into the dining room. There was no food prepared on the table. She frowned. She turned and walked down the hallway, reaching the end and found a door closed. She turned the handle and opened it, finding herself in Jeanine's bedroom. Jeanine wasn't inside, but Tris couldn't help but walk into her room.

Her bed was large with white plush sheets. She walked to the bedside table and picked up a picture frame. She saw Jeanine, young, couldn't be more than 14 or 15 in between two people who she assumed were her parents. She was smiling, wide eyed and youthful, her hair was braided in a long side ponytail with her father wrapped tightly around her, and her mother looked stern, but proud. Tris smiled, perhaps Jeanine was human after all.

"Those are my parents." Jeanine said, startling Tris. She placed the picture down and turned away, noticing right away that Jeanine was shorter. She wasn't wearing her heels.

"You look so happy." Tris motioned to the picture, looking at the woman in front of her.

"I was happy, it was the first time I had successfully grown a reactive strand of protein in our home lab." Jeanine smiled, walking over to the picture, picking it up. "My father was very proud, and my mother thought it took me long enough." Jeanine laughed softly, rubbing her thumb against her mother's face. "I owe everything to her." Jeanine said wistfully, placing the photo back down on the side nightstand. She pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear.

Tris looked at Jeanine then, noticing how much smaller she was without her heels. She was an inch shorter than Tris now, but still carried herself much larger than she was. She held a great presence even without her heels. Her glasses were off, and her hair was free, falling just past her shoulders. Her eyes were tired, but she still carried her body strong.

"Were you an only child?" Tris asked. It was uncommon for one child households, two was prefered in all factions.

Jeanine's eyes were wide and Tris saw the monsoon again, flooding the room. Tris knew what Jeanine couldn't say, she had a sibling, one that was no longer with her.

Jeanine sat on her bed then, her body feeling weak. She hadn't thought of her sister in a long time, the painful memories rushed in. She clenched the sheets in between her fists, and bit hard on her lower lip. She didn't want to cry-not now, not here, not in front of her.

"I had a sister, Beatrice." Jeanine said, staring at the floor. Tris sat down next to her, placing a hand gently on Jeanine's arm.

"She was like you, special and unique. She was two years older than me. When it came time for her faction test, she found out she was di-divergent." Jeanine stumbled on the word 'divergent' her words getting caught in her throat. She bit her lower lip and continued, "That night she hung herself, and I found her in her bedroom. She was always one for theatrics." Jeanine weakly laughed, trying to make light of the memory.

Tris was at loss for words, she knew saying sorry meant nothing. But her heart was in pain for this woman.

Jeanine looked at Tris then, grabbing Tris' face gently between her hands, "You see, my work with divergence isn't about control, it's about saving lives. No one should have to feel the pain of being divergent." Tears were lightly cascading from her eyes, Tris leaned in and kissed her softly on her lips, trying desperately to make the woman feel warm again. She understood part of the reason why Jeanine was cold, why she was the way she was. Jeanine kissed her back, pulling her deeper and closer to her body. Jeanine needed this, she needed to feel the warmth radiating from her. She bared her soul and felt exposed, she needed human contact now.

Tris hands found their way in Jeanine's hair. Tris couldn't believe how beautiful she looked when she was vulnerable, when Jeanine let her humanity in. Jeanine's lips were supple and wanting, grabbing on with a need Tris had never felt before. Tris wondered if this was just a brief moment of distraction, but as quickly as she thought it, it was gone. Jeanine's walls were crumbling before her and Tris was grasping sand.

Jeanine inhaled deeply, a hum on her lips as she pulled away from Tris. Jeanine looked at the woman in front of her, wistfully smiling. Jeanine could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Tris' heart was pure, Jeanine knew this, kindness radiating from her. This pained Jeanine for she knew that Tris' fate was inevitable. Tris represented so much, and as a symbol, she must be destroyed.

"Wouldn't this be considered unethical?" Tris was curious and nervous, rubbing her thumbs against her other hand.

Jeanine noticed the fresh scabs on her knuckles and the bruises on her knees. _Self inflicted._ Jeanine took Tris' hands in her own, raising them to her lips and delicately kissed them. _This poor girl, destructive until the end._

"Ethics are relative and malleable depending on a variety of factors: time, location, circumstances, even culture."

Tris cocked an eyebrow, "Ethics can not be bent, it is held steadfast, it is how we act in practice."

Jeanine smiled, she missed these types of debates, it had been too long. "Some may say there are no such thing as ethics, there are only morals."

Tris laughed then, pulling her hands away, "Perhaps my father was correct, Erudite bend the truth to suit their needs." Tris stood, looking down at the faction leader, her cold grey eyes piercing hers.

The softness was gone and the walls were quickly rebuilding themselves. "Do you think you're special?" Jeanine asked, standing, face to face with Tris, hot tempers flaring.

"I could care less about myself, I didn't come here as a martyr, I came here as a necessity."

"Your self destructive tendencies are getting tiring." Jeanine said with a sigh, turning her head away from Tris.

Tris laughed then, loudly and obnoxiously in Jeanine's face. "You need me." She told her, grabbing her face, "Don't lie to yourself Jeanine, it isn't very becoming." Jeanine raised her hand to smack Tris in the face, but Tris caught it, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her arm behind her back. Tris spun her around deftly, and wrapped her arms around Jeanine's midsection, pinning Jeanine against Tris. Tris took her left hand and grabbed Jeanine's tricep, as to immobilize the older woman. Tris would be in control in this moment. Tris needed to show Jeanine what she thought of her, she aimed to use this woman as Tris was being used. With Tris' free hand she brought it up to Jeanine's neck, grabbing it.

"Do you find it strange how the tables have suddenly turned?" Tris spat, squeezing gently. She saw how Jeanine's eyes closed and she bit her lip. Jeanine didn't protest or try to get out of Tris' grip. She leaned in and kissed Jeanine softly on her neck, trailing down along her shoulders. Jeanine whimpered. Smiling she nipped the nape of Jeanine's neck, causing a sharp inhale.

Tris pushed Jeanine face forward on the bed then, pulling up the blonde woman's skirt and exposing her black lace underwear. Tris bit her bottom lip then, looking at the site in front of her. Here was the mighty and powerful faction leader of Erudite exposed in front of Tris. Tris was pleased.

Jeanine tried to move then, but Tris pushed her back down, raising her right hand and smacking Jeanine _HARD_ on her ass. She left a red hand print on her pale skin, skin that, Tris knew hadn't ever seen daylight. Jeanine cried out in pain, clenching the sheets in her hands. Her face was turned to the side, and her cheeks were flushed.

"I didn't tell you you could move, did I?" Tris hissed, leaning over and grabbing Jeanine's face. Jeanine's eyes shot open then, and she found herself staring into the brown pools of the divergent. She felt her face burn hotly and they kissed roughly, Tris' tongue entering into Jeanine's mouth, claiming ownership. _What am I doing?_ Tris pulled away, giving Jeanine a chance to speak.

"No, you didn't tell me I could move, Beatrice." Jeanine whimpered, her body trembling.

Tris hands ran down the length of Jeanine's back, grabbing her by the waist and positioned Jeanine to be on all fours. Jeanine looked back at Tris then, her hair tossed messily to the side. _What am I doing?_ Her heart was racing, and she felt exposed, compromised, but strangely she was enjoying the sudden loss of control.

"Tell me what you're going to do with Four?" Tris asked, rubbing her palm against Jeanine's bottom.

Jeanine scoffed then. Not pleased by her answer, Tris slapped her, causing Jeanine to shift forward slightly and to release a stifled moan. Another red handprint was visible on her ass. Tris softly ran her fingers over the slight welt that was forming in the shape of her hand on Jeanine's bottom. She was feeling...proud of her handiwork. She smirked at her own pun.

"One more time Ms. Mathews. I won't ask again. What. Are. You. Doing. With. Four." With each word Tris spanked Jeanine on her ass, each one harder and harder, leaving Tris hand stinging. Jeanine fell flat onto the bed, her ass in pain, yet a comforting warmth spread through her body. Jeanine sighed, content.

"I will interrogate him to get answers. Answers about the Factionless, and answers about the Resistance." Jeanine turned around, laying on her back, and tried to push down her skirt. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks were flushed and her walls were halfway built back up.

Tris startled Jeanine then, stopping her from pulling down her skirt. Tris pinned Jeanine's hands above her head and with her free hand she gently caressed Jeanine's face. Jeanine closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, taking in the moment of kindness. Tris let go of Jeanine and let her hands roam down the woman's body, feeling the curves beneath the fabric of her clothes.

Tris began unbuttoning Jeanine's shirt, exposing her breasts. She helped Jeanine sit up then, Tris still on top of her, and with comfort took off the blonde's shirt. Jeanine's bra matched her underwear and Tris couldn't help but smile.

Tris loved the contrast between the paleness of the Erudite and her black undergarments. It was stark and enticing. Tris reached behind Jeanine unclasped her bra, letting her full breasts free, throwing her Bra to the ground. Tris cupped Jeanine's breasts in her hands, feeling the softness.

"You're soft everywhere." Tris remarked, looking into the woman's grey eyes. Her walls were beginning to dismantle again. Tris was pleased.

Tris leaned in and kissed her softly on Jeanine's cheeks, trailing kisses down her jaw line, until she landed on her lips. Tris gently laid Jeanine back down, pulling away and peeled the remaining articles of clothing Jeanine had on off. Tris took in her body. Her pale skin and soft curves were incredible, the flushness of her cheeks, and the shy demeanor allowed for the harshness of her features to be dismantled, Tris saw the woman as she truly was in front of her. Beautiful, broken, and wanting love.

"You're beautiful." Tris remarked, placing soft kisses down Jeanine's neck, creating a trail down towards...

Jeanine inhaled sharply as Tris took her nipple in her mouth, sucking and biting. Tris continued south, leaving bite marks along her path, stopping only to tease, only to bite, only to prolong the inevitable.

"Please." Jeanine pleaded, her eyes wide and demanding. She was well mannered until the end.

Tris' mouth found Jeanine's cunt, Tris was unsure what to do at first, she had never done this before, but she knew instinctively what should happen. Her tongue licked Jeanine's clit and she found a positive response from the faction leader, her body quivering underneath Tris. Probing Jeanine's warmth, she found Jeanine's lips to be giving, getting wetter and wetter as Tris continued. Tris was surprised at how Jeanine tasted, sweet and subtle and it made her want to please the woman more. She placed a hand on Jeanine's stomach, and she continued to pleasure the woman, licking Jeanine's clit slowly and with passion, continuing at a steady pace, she inhaled deeply as she heard Jeanine's whimpers and begs for Tris to continue.

Jeanine's hands found their way on the back of Tri's head guiding her and pressing her deeper into her cunt. Jeanine needed this, needed to feel as if her body was melting, distancing itself from the cognitive structures of her brain, flowing away, becoming nothing. Jeanine's legs wrapped around Tris head. She moaned in pleasure as Tris continued her slow long licks from her wanting well, her back arched as Tris' tongue entered her, invading and demanding, claiming ownership. Jeanine, in this moment, was Tris'. Her eyes closed, and she screamed out as Tris claimed Jeanine's clit again, licking and sucking with passion and ferocity. Tris was hungry.

Tris felt Jeanine's legs clench around her head and as her body began to constrict, she knew she had to keep going. She wanted to make Jeanine cum, she wanted her walls to be dismantled. She wanted her to feel whole again only for her to break her down, control and torture her, just as she was doing to Tris.

Tris had studied books on female sexuality in the past and they all said the same thing,

" _When performing cunninlingus and you notice that the recipient's body goes stiff continue at the same pace you are going, the orgasm is soon to be reached, if you change the pace or motion, you will most likely not succeed in getting your partner to orgasm"_

Jeanine felt her legs lock up, building upwards to her abdomen, her toes and hands curling, she couldn't breathe, she felt as if her breath would never return. Finally, a release. Shockwaves crashed throughout her body, and she inhaled deeply as if it was her first breath of life. Her eyes shot open and the room glowed anew, the world seemed brighter, vibrant. She felt her body awash with dopamine and endorphines. She was smiling. Her mind and body were calm, had the world stood still? Jeanine chuckled then, laughing at her own absurdity.

Tris mouth found Jeanine's and Tris kissed the woman deeply. Tasting herself on the other women's lips, Jeanine marveled at how delicious it all was. How perfect this moment was.

Tris laid next to Jeanine, gently stroking the women's blonde locks. Jeanine closed her eyes enjoying the sensation of being touched. She reached up for Tris' hand taking it in her own and bringing it to her lips, kissing her scabbed hands.

"Have you ever done that before?" Jeanine questioned, locking eyes with Tris. She smiled as Tris blushed, looking away.

"I was that bad, huh?"

"Quite the opposite." She sat up, leaning against her elbows, leaning her head back and letting her hair fall down.

Tris sat up then, needing to be on her level. She had to be careful with her words, the woman in front of her had dismantled her walls and she knew how quickly she could build them again, like a firewall restarting.

"This is all very new to me. I should hate you, but instead…" Tris trailed off, looking at the woman in front of her. _Would this work?_

Jeanine slowly turned her head towards Tris, her eyes wide and curious. Always curious.

"Instead, what?" Jeanine asked, leaning in.

Tris reached up and cupped her hands around the older woman's face, "Instead, I have seen a woman more complicated and interesting, bruised and battered, but still so strong and unyielding. A woman who has lost so much and never wants to see others feel the pain she has felt. I see selflessness and fierce intelligence. How can I hate you when the myth that surrounds you has been shattered in front of me?" Tris was silent then, both of them just inches away from one another. Jeanine didn't pull away, but instead she leaned in and kissed Tris softly on the lips, wrapping her arms around the younger woman, pulling her in tightly.

Jeanine's heart was pounding loudly in her chest and she was unsure what was happening. How could she write about this in her report log? How was she able to quantify the qualitative data she was experiencing. She wondered how this related to divergence, or if this was purely and only Tris. This was unethical. She knew this could have the possibility to alter the testing data, Tris was supposed to be her lab rat, a rat. But here Jeanine was, and here Tris was.

She pulled Tris down so they were both laying on the bed again, Tris resting her head on Jeanine's chest, her arms wrapped around the Erudite's body. Jeanine played with Tris' hair and they both sat there in silence, rubbing and exploring, feeling the warmth shared by each other.

"This is unethical." Jeanine finally said, closing her eyes.

"I told you so." Tris teased. Jeanine giggled and her breath began to slow down until Tris was certain she was asleep.

 _I could kill her right now._ Tris thought, smirking. She was going to wait another day. Tris had Jeanine where she wanted her, and now, she just needed to make sure Four would be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

The sun filtered through the windows illuminating the women curled together on the bed, Jeanine spooning Tris. In the morning the world felt still before the hustle of the everyday began. Both women's breathing was slow and rhythmic, almost matching one another. Jeanine opened her eyes, letting her eyes adjust to the light, seeing how the light streaked through her windows illuminating the dust particles floating in the air. She inhaled deeply, smelling the sweet scent of soap of Tris' hair. _What am I doing?_ Jeanine closed her eyes, the realization of last night crashing into her. She rolled away from the younger woman and sat up on the bed, looking at her naked self in the mirror. She was going to have so much to explain to her peers, about the tests, about what happened and why she allowed it to continue. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes, she was being foolish, weak. She sighed.

"Good morning." Tris greeted Jeanine sleepily, rolling over and stretching. Jeanine looked at the younger woman, her hair adorably misshapen, wild from sleep and their escapades of the night before. Tris sat up and wrapped her arms around Jeanine, kissing her softly on the neck and looking at her through the mirror.

Jeanine went stiff, her eyes glazed over. She stood, not saying anything to Tris and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, shutting the door, sitting on the toilette.

"I'm sorry." Tris said through the door, softly. Tris waited for a moment, hoping she would answer the door. Instead she heard the shower turn on. Tris walked down the hallway and knocked on the front door, signalling the guards to escort her down to her cell.

Jeanine stepped into the shower, the water cascading over her. She closed her eyes and the memory of the night before came flooding in. She sighed, placing a hand on the shower wall, and leaning her head against the tile. She had always been fascinated by religions of the past, and the transformative powers water had on an individual. She would read the Bible like it was a fantasy novel, fascinated by the symbolism and the mythology. Was she washing away her sins, her transgressions from the night before? Could the water symbolically cleanse her mind to allow a rebirth of some sort? Washing of self was often seen as a sacrament in Christianity, or washing the dead was a way to return the body back to its purest state, to clean it of its mortal body to enter into the afterlife, as in Judaism and Islam. _But I am not dying._

Her stomach ached, and she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. She sobbed openly in the shower, as she had done many times in the past, to the point it seemed almost ritualistic. Could tears be considered a rebirth? A cleansing? Could they flow freely from her eyes and create rivers to flood, and resoil the lands of farmers? Could her tears be the lifeblood of a civilization, of the world, of her soul?

She didn't know what a soul was, or what religions were referring to. Was it a consciousness tied to morality, or a separation from the body that allowed those to enter into the spiritual realm, whatever that was? It seemed silly to her that people would believe in souls, in heaven, in the afterlife. It didn't seem silly that people believed in the ritualistic aspects of water, however. Without water a civilization crumbles, and humans loved rituals and symbolism, it gave a deeper meaning to their lives. A purpose. Something to look forward to.

Her hands ran shakily through her hair. Jeanine hadn't let someone in her bed for years, her ability to keep a professional distance was one of her best traits that she was proud of. It gave her the reputation of being an ice queen, untouchable. It reinforced that she was in charge. She was in control. Yet, here she was losing it.

She exited the shower and dried off, walking to her closet and putting on her clothes. Today, she would choose a tight blue ¾ sleeve dress, and her heels. She applied her makeup, and let her hair down, it drying in natural waves around her face.

She walked out of her apartment, her guards close behind waiting for her. Peter looked up at her, a slight blush on his face.

"What is it Peter?" She asked sternly.

"You." He swallowed, "you look good today m'am."

Jeanine smirked.

Jeanine entered the laboratory, always aware of how everyone's eyes would glance up to notice, but today they lingered longer. She frowned. She put on her lab coat and walked over to the stations asking for their daily progress reports.

"We've also noticed some other abnormalities in her brain." Dr. Marlow responded. She looked at the man in front of her, they both were in the same initiation class, he was determined to make it to the top, but she smiled knowing that this was as high as he was going to go. He had greying hair and thick rimmed glasses on. His outfits were always slightly disheveled, but it had an endearing quality to it. His mind was wonderful, she knew he was always thinking, the older he got, the more he lived in his mind and his work, forgoing the societal world as much as he could. She wondered how he interacted with his wife. Was he a delicate lover? A passionate lover? Or was he too, in moments of passion, lost to his work, thinking through problems.

Jeanine moved closer to him, invading his personal space, looking at the data on his screen. She looked at it, noticing nothing at first until finally. She grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it.

He stiffened at her touch, then relaxed a little. She looked at him, smiling. "Dr. Marlow, I am very impressed with your findings. How did you think to look there?"

"Funny enough, it came to me while I was eating breakfast this morning." He stated chuckling.

"We find inspiration in the most unusual times and places, don't we?" Jeanine laughed along. "Write up your report and we can find a way to halt these receptors from firing. Perhaps something akin to a beta blocker?" She tapped her fingers on the counter, humming in satisfaction.

There was a commotion in the lab, a feeling of urgency only the biggest problems could generate. She smiled. This kind of energy excited her, made her feel as if she was on her tip toes, like she was looking over the edge and could fall off at any moment. She inhaled, she felt alive.

She walked with vigor to the next station, a deepened sway in her walk, walking straight to the lead on simulation, Dr. Alison Bellus. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail that she curled at the ends. She was unlike many of the women in the unit, she wore makeup, perfume and carried a smile. She was a beautiful young woman who would most likely replace Jeanine one day.

"Dr. Mathews." The woman greeted Jeanine with a sense of enthusiasm.

"I take it we've discovered something, Dr. Bellus?" Jeanine asked, leaning in to the woman's personal space and taking the graph from her hands. Jeanine looked at the table in front of her, examining the columns and rows of numbers and information. Jeanine's eyes widened when she glanced over the abnormality, it was staring her in the face right in perfect ones and zeroes.

Dr. Bellus giggled and Jeanine looked up at her smiling, "I knew you would notice the sequence." Bellus' smile was wide and eager, excited to continue to explain what it meant, "At first I thought it was a computational error, there shouldn't be that obvious of a sequence in the matrix, so I ran the tests again and it showed up again, and again and again." Her voice was getting more excited and she leaned over clicking the screen that Jeanine was holding, and pulling up another graph. "You see, I ran this tests 25 times and got the same sequence."

"That is unusual." Jeanine mumbled.

"Unusual for our brains, perhaps." Bellus continued, "But for divergence, probably not. However, I am hesitant about these findings." Her excitement dropped slightly and a frown formed on her lips.

Jeanine looked up at her puzzled.

"We know little about divergence and what we know has been predominantly on only a handful of subjects. Our sample size is incredibly low, and I haven't seen similar sequences or patterns amongst the other subjects. If there is no uniformity between the brains, how will we be able to create a serum that is a one stop solution? That is able to control all divergence, when, it is that, divergent from any norm?"

"That is the million dollar question isn't Dr. Bellus?" Jeanine replied, looking at the graph at hand. "This is a stepping stone, however, if we can prevent these synapses from firing, then perhaps we have a chance at controlling some of the divergent. We're still at trial phases, error is expected."

"I sent my team to synthesize a serum to act almost as beta blockers. Similar to the ways that antidepressant and mood stimulants work."

Jeanine turned and smiled at Dr. Bellus, putting a hand on her forearm. She enjoyed when her team was in line with her thinking. She noticed how the brunette blushed, down casting her eyes, and then looked up at Jeanine through thick lashes. "Good work Dr. Bellus. Keep it up. With a continual dedication like yours we will soon solve this problem." Jeanine squeezed gently and walked away.

Dr. Bellus finally took a breath.

Jeanine wasn't absentminded to the ways individuals who worked under her perceived her. She knew that at times a touch, a breach into personal space, was just as effective on some of her colleagues as was the need to reprimand. The line between attraction and fear was one that was easily crossed with these pent up scientists. Jeanine walked to her office that overlooked the laboratory. She stood at the window for a moment and observed, she loved how the team worked organically with one another. The ebb and flow of the scientists below seemed natural, swarm like, with purpose and graphical beauty.

Jeanine turned from the window and sat at her desk turning on her computer. She had to update her observation logs, _but what do I write?_ Could Jeanine be honest about last night's session, the ways in which she found herself leaving her body and entering the realm of ecstasy? Could she say that the tests went normal and she found endearing divergent behavior? If anyone was ever to look at her logs, and it was only a matter of time, she would be sent to review. She would be compromised. Jeanine knew that she was already compromised, Tris had awakened a warmth inside her that was invading her body. She sighed.

Today Tris would be undergoing another round of simulations tests, these ones similar to before. Jeanine knew they wouldn't work, but she also knew they would have to try every new serum. One of them had to be successful. Tris' life depended on it and in a way, so did Jeanine's.

Jeanine opened the document log. Her fingers resting just above the keys, she was unsure exactly what to type. She heard the clock ticking behind her. One of the few analogue luxuries she kept around, it was given to her by her father. People would comment about its antiquity or historians would get a sense of excitement when their eyes laid on it. She looked around her office noticing how the light shone through the windows illuminating the dust particles wisping through the air, collecting with others on her bookshelf. She scanned the shelves noticing which ones were out of alphabetical order, she stood and began to rearrange, Descartes was placed in politics, when in her heart he knew he belonged to philosophy. Arendt in sociology when she knew she belonged in politics and Kant? He was left somewhere in between politics, philosophy and aesthetics, her mind arguing with itself for his rightful placement. Perhaps he too was somewhere in between, a divergent of categorization? Jeanine laughed at her own joke, taking a moment to look at the books in front of her, each one well read, each one passed down from her father to her. Her hands ran along the spines feeling the craftsmanship of the binding. _They don't make them like they did before_ , she mused, her hands landing on one of her journals. She pulled it out and read a passage inside.

She found the pages about her abortion, about her grief. She felt the same old memories flooding in, keeping her trapped in a time that had passed. Her hands trembled as she felt the same fear she felt then, the fear of rejection, of loneliness, her mother's indifference and her father's inability to help her emotionally. It was an Erudite trait. She inhaled slowly, letting the tears well up in her eyes. She would always love him. She would always be grateful for the happiness he had given her, sometimes she still dreamed of what their wedding day would have been like. She placed the journal back, banishing it to the shelves. She hoped to never read it again, but she couldn't bring herself to burn it. It was the last physical reminder she had of him, of her youth, of her transition to the person she was today.

She spun on her heels, reminding herself who she was. Jeanine Mathews, Erudite leader, developer of simulations. Cold. Dominating.

As she sat back to her desk her old voice crept in finishing her affirmation-Alone. Her fingers touched the keys again and she found herself unable, for a moment to type again. She stared at the screen, hoping for the courage to come. Her hands trembled. She closed her eyes, refusing to look at the screen and began typing.

 _Last night, Beatrice Prior, was delivered to my room earlier than expected. Perhaps, I should forgo these extra tests, I believe I have been compromised and my ability to objectively study the subject may be impossible. The sexual defiance was not like before, but instead this time, she was dominant. And I allowed her to be. It seems her preferences are not singular, but she can play the role of both dominant and submissive. It was different than before, while power play was in practice at first, it morphed into something else. Something more sensual, more tender. Loving, where my sexual needs were considered before her own. It is possible that this can be another type of power play, to make me vulnerable in order to gain information from me. This I am consciously and acutely aware of. Or, it could be that Beatrice Prior is developing an emotional attachment, a symptom of stockholm-like syndrome. But what is the syndrome when the captor begins to have emotional attachments to the subject?_

Jeanine looked at the sentence she just wrote. Blinking slowly to make sure she wrote what she thought she did. _But what is the syndrome when the captor begins to have an emotional attachment to the subject?_

Was this true? And what would her colleagues think of her, stone cold Ms. Mathews falling for a lab rat? She could hear the rumors starting now, the ploys to step her down from the head of the faction.

She deleted the last sentence. Hoping that no one had read her report as it was automatically updated to the cloud. The revised version only moments behind.

She stood from her desk then, looking over the laboratory, scanning to see if anyone was on their respective computers looking for any updates on Jeanine's observations. She scanned quickly from one station to the next, her heart racing, hoping that she caught her mistake before anyone realized. She saw a group of scientists huddled over a computer, laughing. _Could it be about me?_ She placed a hand on the glass and tried to peer closer, knowing that she wasn't going to see anything. When the group dispersed, she saw what was on their screen, just a typical video, meant for short laughs and moments of levity. She sighed, feeling the tension release from her neck.

A knock at her door. Jeanine's head snapped and she saw Dr. Bellus on the other hand, holding her tablet and smiling. _Always so damn bubbly._

"Enter." Jeanine commanded, still looking out the window. Bellus entered cautiously, walking over to Jeanine.

"Ms. Mathews, I have some questions about your logs?" Dr. Bellus said, smiling, pulling up the information on her tablet.

Jeanine's heart sank, she wasn't fast enough.

"Yes?" Jeanine asked, turning around to sit at her desk, licking her lips nervously.

"I saw that you deleted some information, but I didn't get to read it all the way."

Jeanine let out a sigh of relief. "I realized it wasn't factual, that I found myself lost in the rhythm of typing."

Bellus smiled and nodded, her curled ponytail bobbing behind her. "I can imagine you must be exhausted with the extra observation you're doing also at night."

"I have had better work schedules." Jeanine smiled looking at the women in front of her, her youth radiating and lighting up the room. It was endearing.

Bellus bit her lip out of hesitation before continuing. "Doctor, I was hoping that perhaps…" she trailed off, tapping her fingers against the arm rest.

Jeanine cocked an eyebrow in response.

"I was wondering Ms. Mathews, if that I could observe one of these extra observation methods? To gain a visual insight into the subject." Her face was flushed red. She knew what the observations were, she just needed to witness them herself.

Bellus intrigued Jeanine, here in front of her, was a woman who performed herself as being innocent and dedicated to her work. Yet, she had this side to her. _Fascinating._

"You are aware about what those tests entail, do you not?" Jeanine asked, intrigued, she leaned onto her desk, eyes glinting.

Looking down at her hands, Bellus nodded, finally raising her head, "If I am ever going to advance as a researcher, I have to be comfortable in areas I may find unorthodox."

Jeanine smiled.

-

 _A/N: Thank you for being patient everyone. I am working on the next chapters as we speak, but before publishing I like to make sure my amazing beta proofreads everything. Are you liking how this story is developing? I'm always interested in getting insight into Jeanine's character since we don't get to know her very well in the books. Much Love! Please Review and share!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Tris awoke from the simulation screaming. Her eyes wide with fear, sweat beading at her forehead. Her breath was quick and rigid, each inhale causing shooting pain to rip through her body. She squirmed, begging to be released from the shackles.

"Please, please, please." Tris mumbled, shaking her head from side to side. She couldn't understand why the pain was crashing through her body, and why she felt like she was going to vomit. It was unlike any of the others.

 _Trial and error._ She thought to herself, fully understanding what it meant to be a lab rat, to be injected with experimental serums. Her body was on fire. Tris screamed out in pain, wanting nothing more than for it to end.

"What are you experiencing right now?" One of the lab technicians asked her, calm, robotically.

"Fire." Tris was able to gasp out in between the sobs. "My body feels like it is on fire."

The technicians whispered something inaudible to another one.

"Please." Tris asked sobbing. She wanted this feeling to end. She wanted to it all to be over. She kicked her legs wildly, trying her hardest to distract herself from the pain, but she couldn't.

One of the lab technicians came to her side, injected her with another unknown substance. The pain stopped. Her breathing became regulated. The tears fell silently from her eyes. She turned her head away from the lab technicians and stared at the blank walls, imagining she was somewhere different, somewhere safe. She closed her eyes and imagined the wind blowing on her face, the warmth of the sun, the feeling of dirt underneath her toes. She could hear the sounds of laughter, feel the warmth and touch of others, but as she felt the restraints loosen and fall away, she was back to where she was. Back to the moment. Tris, subject of tests. Divergent. No special than others.

She slowly sat up, still staring at the wall. She kept imagining what it would be like to be free again, for the war to be over, for people to live together peacefully. The faction system was an experiment, a way to help end all wars, but in doing so another war had started and she found herself lost in the middle of it. Lost. Was this a purpose of the experiments? Tris wondered, still staring at the wall hoping it would give her the momentary solace she craved.

"Beatrice." A voice Tris was familiar with by now, the hair on her back rose up in response.

Tris slowly turned her head and saw Jeanine . She weakly smiled.

"You look different Jeanine." Tris said, turning her head back to the wall. Tris' head felt foggy, she knew it had to do with the cocktail of injections she was getting. Tris let her toes brush against the cold ground, she placed one foot down and then the other, steadying herself on the table. As soon as she let go, she felt her legs give out, and she collapsed on the ground. Feeling nothing. She felt weightless.

Jeanine rushed to her side, helping her up, struggling. "Are you okay?" Jeanine asked, leaning Tris against the table. "Sit." Jeanine's voice was penetrating, and Tris complied.

Tris looked at the wall again, no longer white, she could see the world outside the walls, people passing by, couples holding hands, children running and laughing.

"What are you doing to Four right now?" Tris asked, still staring at the scene in front of her.

Jeanine didn't answer the question, and instead looked at the sheet in front of her. "It seemed the mix of drugs they gave you to stop your allergic reaction, is causing these side effects. Are you experiencing hallucinations, Beatrice?" Jeanine asked, still staring and reading the notes on her file.

"Perhaps these are hallucinations, or perhaps they are projections. A memory palace of sorts." Tris answered listlessly. "I cannot feel my legs however, but I can tell it is only temporary."

"How can you tell?" Jeanine asked.

"I don't know…" Tris trailed off, looking at the wall, smiling and chuckling. "What are you doing to Four?" Tris asked again.

"Interrogating him." Jeanine replied.

"About what? The factionless, the dauntless who didn't betray their faction?" Tris was calm, her voice sounding distant from her own ears.

"Perceptive."

"It doesn't take divergence to figure out intelligence against an enemy." Tris replied. She stood then, only momentarily, before collapsing on the floor again.

Jeanine rushed to her side and helped Tris up, letting Tris lean against her for support. "Is it your legs?" Jeanine asked, guiding Tris to a chair and letting her sit down. Jeanine was leaning over Tris, concern rooted deep within her grey eyes.

"I should hate you, but I find your perplexing." Tris told Jeanine, grabbing Jeanine with her hands.

Jeanine kneeled in front of Tris, stroking the back of the younger women's hands with her own. "Is this the drugs talking?" Jeanine asked, looking for signs of overdose in her eyes. _No signs of dilation, no clammy skin._

"I should hate you for everything, for the death of my parents, for the death of innocent lives. But, I find myself…" Tris trailed off again, staring at the wall, seeing the children play, the trees blow in the breeze. Jeanine hung onto Tris' words, _find yourself what?_ Jeanine wondered, feeling a knot bind in her stomach.

Tris hugged the older woman then, heart to heart. At first Jeanine was startled, but slowly sank into the warmth and comfort of the contact. She could feel Tris' heart beating in her chest, slow and comforting. She could feel hers fast and eradict, nervous, ashamed and excited. She hated herself for pulling away.

"Beatrice, we have more tests to do, can you walk yet?"

"More tests? Aren't you going to feed me first?" Tris asked.

Jeanine cocked an eyebrow, "Are you hungry Beatrice?"

"I thought that was the order of things, you feed me, and then you fuck me or I you." Tris looked Jeanine square in the eye and saw how a blush creeped up the blonde's face. She whispered "Oh. I see. They don't know." Tris moved her upper torso like a snake, and stood then. Her legs no longer numb. She was towering over Jeanine who was still kneeling, Tris reached down and grabbed a fistfull of Jeanine's hair, pulling her up by it and pulling her roughly in for a kiss. Their lips mingled, tongue and teeth fighting for control. Finally, Jeanine pushed Tris away causing Tris to collapse back down in the chair. Tris laughed wildly, her head shooting back, teeth blaring. She suddenly felt wild, energetic. In control. _Could this be another side effect of the drug cocktail I am on?_

Jeanine took a step back looking at the woman in front of her, surmising her erratic behavior to the drugs she was on. She looked up at the control room and knew Bellus was watching, she signaled her to stand on the observatory deck. She wanted her to be seen by Tris.

Tris noticed Jeanine signal and saw as the other woman exited the control room and stand on the deck. She was an attractive woman, Tris thought, young, only a little older than Tris.

"Do you like them young?" Tris whispered to Jeanine, who shot her a glare.

"Beatrice, I would like you to meet Dr. Bellus, she is the head of the Serum section of my laboratory." Jeanine introduced Tris to Bellus who stood at the top of the deck silent, observing.

"Have you come to…" Tris paused to be dramatic, "watch, Dr. Bellus?" Tris asked, walking over to Jeanine, and wrapping her arms around her midsection. She felt how Jeanine tensed up, and she pushed away, laughing. "Supposedly these tests give all you Erudite insight into divergence because I have deviant sexual preferences, but I suppose Jeanine is also learning a thing or two about herself."

"It is Ms. Matthews, Beatrice." Jeanine snapped, Tris stood rigid.

"Yes, Ms. Matthews." Tris responded, in alignment to her previous lessons.

Jeanine circled Tris, as she talked to Bellus, "Tris is a quick learner. At times she wants to please, and has been known to find sexual arousal from being examined. Something she herself didn't learn until coming here." Jeanine explained. "Hands up Tris."

Tris complied, and Jeanine took the hem of her dress and pulled it off her body. She then stripped off her underwear. Tris stood naked, no longer blushing. Any feeling of shame she once felt gone after the ample amount of "tests" she had experienced with Jeanine. Tris reached out and grabbed Jeanine's wrist, pulling her in.

"Jeanine, please, not this, not now." She whispered, knowing that her wishes would not be heard.

Jeanine tried to pull away, but Tris held on tightly, "Last night was different wasn't it? It wasn't just in my head. You felt it." Tris felt her eyes begin to well up with tears. She blinked slowly to prevent them from falling.

Jeanine stopped for a moment and looked at Tris, the tears pushing to spill. Jeanine felt a pain in her heart, but she knew she couldn't show mercy in front of a colleague. These tests had to continue. For her reputation. For the stability of Erudite.

Jeanine pulled away, turning her head away from Tris. She inhaled deeply, regaining control.

Jeanine grabbed Tris hands and pinned them against her body, she leaned in and whispered, "I am sorry Tris, I have to do this."

 _She called me Tris._

The tears fell then, slowly cascading down her cheeks and landing on the ground. They both were lost, lost in the mess that was one another. Tris closed her eyes, jutting her chin out. Her lips trembling as she tried not to cry. Her body was betraying her. As quickly as her tears came, they were gone. Her body wrecked from the drugs, Tris didn't know what else to expect.

Jeanine's lips landed softly on Tris', both hungry for one another's touch, for their taste. Lips mashed and tongues played, and Jeanine found herself letting go of Tris' hands to cup and caress the younger woman's face. It was tender. Loving. Bellus observed from a distance and was confused.

 _What is the purpose of the intimacy?_ The brunette wondered. She thought these tests would be much more violent, deviant, but instead, she found herself witnessing intimacy. Her mind wandered back to Jeanine's field notes and the data she wasn't able to read. She focused back on the scene in front of her.

She observed as Jeanine pulled away, wrapping her hand around the subject's neck, and guided her across the lab room. Bellus saw how Jeanine laid the divergent on the table, forcing her to spread her legs open, and how, to much of Bellus' surprise, the subject didn't protest, but complied and seemed to enjoy the sexual attention she was receiving. Bellus heard how Tris gasped in pleasure and pain as Dr. Matthews buried her head in between the subject's legs, while her nails clawed into Beatrice thighs.

The brunette was intrigued, as she continued to observe, she felt a tingle begin to form from her own vagina, and felt a warmth spread throughout her body. Bellus flushed and gripped onto the railing of the observation deck, her breath becoming languid, her eyes heavy.

She bit her lower lip and stifled a moan.

It was hard to remain the observer and detach her own personal feelings from the situation, her own personal arousal. She loved watching how Dr. Matthews treated the subject and she found herself empathizing with Beatrice. Bellus wished she was in the divergent's place, blushing at the thought.

As Beatrice screamed, signalling to Bellus that her climax was reached, the brunette observed the tenderness in Jeanine's kisses, the way she looked into Beatrice's eyes. It dawned on the young scientist then-she knew what was happening to Jeanine. She was beginning to develop feelings for the subject.

A sense of panic filled Bellus momentarily, observing the two women below her. Each of them forgetting that she was up there. They were in their own world. What did it mean if the leader of Erudite was compromised with the enemy? What did that mean about Bellus, who, up until this moment, idolized Dr. Matthews? What did this mean for her faction? Her fingers taped on the railing, as was a tick she developed at a young age when her mind swirled itself into a variety of non stop questions. Probing.

Bellus turned around and went back into the observation room, needing a moment to herself, her hands shaking.

Jeanine and Tris looked up then, remembering that they weren't alone. Beads of sweat pooled and ran down Tris' abdomen, aftershocks still trembling her thighs. She didn't know what the purpose of the other Doctor was, or what her relationship with Jeanine was. Tris felt a pang of jealousy. She shook her head, forcing it away. Dr. Bellus was there to observe.

 _I am a lab rat._

The tears arrived again, and Tris turned her head, she didn't want Jeanine to see her this way. She didn't want anyone to see her this way. She sat up, and got off the table, slowly walking over to her clothes and dressed. Despite her best efforts, the tears fell. She felt vulnerable. Used. Confused. Caged. Alive.

Jeanine wasn't blind. She knew that Tris was experiencing some emotional discomfort. Jeanine walked over to Tris and placed a delicate hand on Tris shoulder. She wanted to comfort the young woman, but the words escaped her. "Tris..." was all she was able to murmur.

Tris spun around then, and hugged Jeanine, sobbing loudly into her chest. "I've made a mistake" Tris mumbled, her body shaking. The tears blurring her vision. She felt as if she was a child, clinging on to the woman in front of her, desperate. The tears stopped and Tris shook her head, "It is the drugs, the side effects." Tris said, ashamed, casting her eyes away from Jeanine. Tris couldn't bring herself to look into the pools of grey, not when she felt so vulnerable, so angry..

Tris pulled away from Jeanine then, shuffling her feet against the ground. Her bare feet cold against the cool floor.

"What mistake have you made, Beatrice?" Jeanine asked, leaning in caressing her face.

Tris looked up at her, square in the eyes, "That I didn't kill you last night when I had the chance."

Jeanine's chest flared out with rage, she reached back and smacked Tris hard across the face, catching her off guard, causing her to lose her balance. Trish crashed to the ground, her head hitting the floor.

All went black.

-

 _*AN: Thanks for reading. I will be gone for a month in Indonesia but promise ample updates as soon as I return. Let me know what you think. (Don't worry Bellus is no one significant, just a character to move future chapters along)._ _All Trinine shippers, let us unite! My twitter is: /imthetori_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews and for being so patient with the next update. I came back from Indonesia and then had to travel for work, and then had bookings non stop. I've been busy writing, but do not publish until I have a Beta look over and read my work. Well, my Beta was busy with work as well- & well. You know the story. Enjoy Chapter 9 and PLEASE, Read, Review, and Tweet and share this story with fellow Divergent or Trinine fans! Thank you all! 3 _

**Chapter 9**

Her head was pounding. She was wrapped tightly in a blanket, her body felt clammy, as if she had been sweating all night. Tris had no idea what time it was, or how she got here, she closed her eyes, or what day it was.

 _Did you mean it?_

A part of her did, and another part of her was unsure. Whatever was developing between her and Jeanine was clouding her judgement. If it was another time, another place, another situation. But here she was, in a cell, poked and prodded. Bruised. She didn't know how many more needles her arm and neck could take. She didn't know how many more psychological stabs she could continue undergoing. Through all of the trials, the tests, the simulations she had found out more about her inner workings and self than she could have thought possible. And in the meantime, everyone else was learning new things about her as well.

 _The more I learn, the more I hate myself._

She shook her head, sitting up and stretching. Her body creaked, in such a short time she now felt so old. Her shoulder was painfully sore, she hoped that her body would heal soon and she could once again gain full mobility. She was always impatient.

She stood then, touching her toes, allowing her back to bend and stretch. She was glad that the effects of whatever cocktail of drugs she was on before had worn off.

The door to her cell blew off. Tris flew backwards, her body hitting the wall behind her. As her eyes gained focus, she heard Four's voice, telling her, letting her know he was there.

She reached her hand out, and in daze, she found herself running wildly behind him. She saw guards being shot, falling to the ground. She felt her feet get cut on the shards of glass on the ground, but she didn't care, she kept running. And as soon as they got to the exit, and he grabbed her shoulder, she didn't feel pain. She pulled away from him.

 _It isn't him. This is all a simulation._

"Tris, hurry we have to go." Four yelled at her, shooting a guard that was coming up behind them.

She looked at him. "I love you." She whispered. In a way she did.

"I love you too." He whispered, looking at her, "But this isn't the time, we have to go now."

"This isn't real." Tris murmured, she touched his nose, and he exploded into millions of tiny pieces. Tris' eyes fluttered open, and she found herself back in the laboratory. Another day. Another test.

This time, however, Jeanine was above her, grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and shook her violently, "How do you do it? How do you know it is a simulation?" She was screaming, her eyes wild.  
Tris broke free from the shackles and pushed Jeanine away, forcing the older woman to stumble back. Tris wanted to scream, wanted to inflict damage. She wanted to hurt Jeanine.

"You wont be able to crack me, just like you weren't able to save your sister. You are failing!" Tris spat, her eyes wild with anger.

Jeanine pulled a gun from a guard's holster pressing the barrel against Tris' temple. The younger woman froze, her body stiffening. Then the anger was gone and a calm spread throughout her body. Tris closed her eyes momentarily, feeling her breath enter her body and the oxygen flow through her veins. She felt the cold metal pressed up against her temple, it sending goosebumps along her arms. She slowly turned her head towards Jeanine, opening her eyes, their eyes locking.

Jeanine gasped. Her hand trembling, she gave the gun back to the guard. Wiping her palms on her dress.

 _Tris will be the death of me._ Jeanine thought, turning around hands on her hips, her breathing short and rapid. She knew what was happening. She placed a hand on the wall to steady herself, her body betraying her again. She felt the same old irrational panic setting in, clawing deep down into her bones, forcing her stomach to turn, her head to spin, her heart to race. She grasped desperately to the wall, hoping to regain balance, her legs shaking. Jeanine inhaled sharply, forcing air into her lungs, she tried to gain control, but her body was losing it.

She cried out. Turning around wildly, shouting at everyone to leave the lab.

"Get out!" She screamed. The lab technicians scurried away like roaches, scared and alarmed.

Jeanine grabbed onto a table, steadying herself. Her vision was going blurry, she knew soon the tears would come, and if she didn't control her breathing, she would pass out. She felt comforting hands on her.

"Look at me." Tris told Jeanine, rubbing her shoulders gently.

Jeanine looked quickly only to dart away.

"Jeanine. Look. At. Me." Tris was patient, but demanding. As Jeanine slowly turned her face to to Tris', what Tris saw etched in Jeanine's eyes broke her heart.

A woman on the verge of losing it all.

Tris placed her hands delicately on each side of the Erudite leader's face, "Alright, I want you to inhale to the count of 4. Ready?" Jeanine was breathing erratically, her hands were clenching on Tris' shoulders. The tears streamed down her face.

"Inhale for 1, 2, 3, 4. Now hold it for 1, 2, 3, 4. Now exhale for 1, 2, 3, 4." Tris kept repeating this, and Jeanine followed until her breathing became regulated, the tears stopped, and her heart beat stabilized.

"I didn't mean it." Tris said softly.

"I know." Jeanine whispered.

For a moment the two women looked at each other in silence. Eyes locked, inches apart. Both desperately wanting to close the gap between them, but knowing what was at stake. Tris reached out and felt Jeanine's heart beating in her chest. Tris grabbed Jeanine's hand and placed it ontop of her chest. They sat like that, letting each other know they were alive, and finally their hearts were synced, sharing the same rhythm. They both closed their eyes, leaning in, forehead to forehead.

Jeanine gently pulled away. "If this was a different time. A different world…" Jeanine began.

"I know." Tris said. The younger woman stood. "But we are stuck in the situation presented to us, one determined by the universe alone."

They both were silent, looking at one another, a sudden realization and loss flooding both of them. Jeanine turned away from Tris, her eyes welling with tears. Silently she wept. She wept for it all, her failure, the destruction of the system, the war, the casualties. For Tris. She inhaled slowly, regaining control, trying her hardest to remain calm.

She turned then. "We can't keep doing what we are doing." Jeanine stated.

"I am going to die, Jeanine. And you're going to be the one that kills me." Tris replied. They both knew what she meant, the double meaning behind her words.

Jeanine nodded, sadly, "Or you'll be the one that kills me."

Silence overtook them. The realization of their fate burying them alive.

"What is going to happen next Beatrice, you will not like." Jeanine said, tying Tris back down on the table, signalling the guards to enter and to tie her to the table.

Tris face was wrought with confusion, and then she saw it. Saw Four being dragged into the laboratory. When their eyes locked, he screamed. "Let her go. Not her! Tris!"

Tris fought against the bindings, yelling, "Four. What are you going to do to him?" She was panicking. She didn't want another person to suffer because of her. Four didn't deserve this.

Jeanine ignored Tris' screams, grabbing a syringe and holding it up. "Now Four, you are going to tell me the location and tactical plans of the Factionless."

Four's eyes glared Jeanine down. Indignant. Defiant.

"Don't tell her anything, Four."

Jeanine looked at Tris, her glare softening. "If you don't, what I will do to Tris could break her."

Four screamed then, Tris begged him to not give up any information. Then the needle went into her neck, and the panic began.

Jeanine was pained as she saw the fear simulation doing its damage on Tris, her body convulsing, her screams piercing Jeanine's heart. As Four gave the information she needed, she felt as if her thoughts were on Tris. Jeanine saw what Tris was hallucinating on the monitor in front of her, the giant birds coming in and scratching her, but sharply, her hallucination shifted, and Jeanine saw herself on the monitors, standing in front of Tris. Tris ran over to Jeanine, grabbing her around her waist and pulled her in.

"I love you." Jeanine heard the hallucination Jeanine say to Tris. Tris cried then, grabbing Jeanine by her face, kissing her softly all over.

Jeanine felt her stomach clench in knots as she watched the hallucination on the monitor.

 _This is her fear. Her fear is us falling in love with one another._ Jeanine feared the same, both of them falling in love, wanting nothing more to be with each other, but circumstances, their duties pulling them apart.

"Ms. Matthews, the subject has given us all the information he knows."

Jeanine grabbed the serum that would stop the madness and injected it in Tris' arm. The younger woman gasped loudly, eyes dilating back to normal. Tears were streaming down her face and the expression that filled Tris' face shattered Jeanine. Jeanine placed a delicate hand on Tris' shoulder, causing her to jump. Dejected, Jeanine turned and walked away.

Jeanine found herself walking in a daze in the central gardens. She felt the cold breeze against her skin and a foreboding dampness thicken the air. She inhaled, smelling the decay that came before a rainstorm. The pungent smell of the Earth filled her nostrils. She almost gagged. It had been a while since she had been in the gardens, so much of her life had been spent looking outside from within the Erudite compounds observing from afar. Her skin was the testament to this life, even in the darkness, she radiated an alabaster glow under the moonlight. She used to find solitude at night, a sense of belonging and oneness with her thoughts. But as of late she knew only pain in the darkness, the aggressor was herself, wreaking havoc on her own mind. Her world had seemed out of balance since Tris showed up.

Her hand sent out a ghostly sting, reminding her of the blade Tris had thrown at her. She looked down, a faint scar ran across her palm. She was lucky she still had use of the land.

This was Tris' way of reminding Jeanine who she really was, what she was capable of, and what she would do to protect the ones she loved.

Jeanine stopped and looked at a flower in front of her, the sweet smell pungent and drenching the air. She scanned her memory and tried to remember the name of the flower, but she came up blank. Frowning, she leaned in and inhaled deeply, letting the smell overtake her, filling her memory banks. She took mental note to look up the flower in the morning.

She smiled, thinking of how much fun that would be, a moment of disconnect and pure curiosity for the world around her. She almost giggled.

She was on her tiptoes, she felt almost weightless, a smile reaching ear to ear.

"Ms. Mathews."

Jeanine frowned and slowly turned around, heels firmly planted on the ground. The air suddenly felt thicker, the humidity was oppressive.

Bellus was standing in front of her, arms crossed, her normal bouncy demeanor replaced with the stern woman in front of her.

"Dr. Bellus, I see you have found me in a moment of levity." Jeanine felt her pulse quicken, but she knew her exterior was calm, collective and in control. Jeanine could tell the woman wanted to challenge her. Jeanine surmised from the events of the day what the discussion would be.

Bellus wasn't the first, nor would she be the last to question her ethics, research practices, and leadership abilities. Jeanine found it endearing almost-adorable? This young woman had the gumption and the nerve.

"It would be rude to interrupt you, Doctor." Bellus began.

"Yes, it would be rather rude." Jeanine stated, her tone to the point, causing Bellus to flinch.

There was a moment of silence, Bellus faltering. Jeanine stepped into the younger woman's personal space.

"It is written all over your face, dear girl. Let me guess. You have come to address me on my research practice with the divergent subject." Jeanine took Bellus' slight twitch as a confirmation of her suspicion.

"Dr. Matthews, what you are doing with the subject is beyond any research protocol ever taught. It is unethical and compromises the data for both observer and observee." Her voice was steady, calm. Jeanine couldn't help, but be impressed She cocked an eyebrow.

"I have taken that into consideration." Jeanine replied, her body moving like a snake, seductively, enticing Bellus, confusing her.

"Then why continue the practice?" Bellus asked, "if you know the potential risks in biasing the data, why risk it?" Her face was flush, but there was no tremble in her voice.

"Our bodies give away information much quicker than the mind ever will. It betray us. It reveals secrets. It lets others know when we are aroused, when we are scared and what our motivations may be." Jeanine brushed a small strand of hair away from Bellus' neck, causing the younger doctor to shiver, a deep red cascading down her neck. "What did you feel when you observed, Bellus?' Jeanine asked, her mouth inches away from the woman's neck. Bellus felt vulnerable.

"I told you, I think what-"

"I am not interested in what you thought, only in what you felt." Jeanine responded, turning away like a disappointed teacher, hands clasped behind her back.

Bellus felt ashamed, she had disappointed Dr. Matthews intelligence, Bellus stammered, "I felt...nervous, guilty, as if I was witnessing an act between two lovers. I felt...sexually aroused." The last words came out barely a whisper, Jeanine smiled.

"What does this tell you about Divergence?" Jeanine asked.

Bellus was silent. Then suddenly she spoke, "Pleasure receptors." Bellus walked towards Jeanine, "She responds well to your tests, much better than our simulations. Perhaps the key to controlling divergence is with the connection between our body network and our cerebral network. In other words, if we can find where those two connect, we could find a solution."

"Precisely." Jeanine said, she turned to Bellus who looked ashamed. "I admire your willingness to confront me with your thoughts Bellus. Perhaps next time it is best to wait until we are in a lab, or in my office."

The reprimand stung, Jeanine could see the pain written across Bellus' face. She was always one to seek teacher approval, Jeanine realized. Probably because it was lacking in her own home, both of Bellus' parents were married to their work. Jeanine almost felt sorry for the girl, almost.

"It won't happen again." Bellus paused for a moment before continuing, "Doctor, I was wondering though," She bit her lip, hesitating. "What do you feel when administering the tests?" She had posted the question as innocent, but Jeanine could see her ulterior motives.

"I feel, power, in control. Sometimes, I feel vulnerable and insecure."

"Do you get sexual pleasure out of these tests?"

"I am human."

"Does that cloud your emotional judgement?"

"At times, but stepping away gives me clarity.

"Could she be using you just as you are using her?"

Jeanine was silent. That thought had crossed her mind on occasion. "Care to elaborate?"

"Could Beatrice be emotionally compromising you to cloud your judgement? You've stated yourself that you experience contradictory emotional experiences at once."

"Yes."

"What I witnessed was akin to the first time I had sex with someone I cared deeply about. There was emotion behind what you were doing to her. It was not fucking. It was not sterile sex. I caution you. We do not know everything about divergence and the unknown variables can compromise you."

The concern in Bellus voice startled Jeanine. The younger woman actually cared.

"What do you suggest Bellus?" Jeanine asked.

"That you bring in Caleb."


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: I AM THE WORST PERSON ON THE PLANET. I KNOW IT HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE AN UPDATE: BUT HERE IS ONE. MORE TO COME AND A FINISHING CHAPTER BY THE END OF THIS WEEK._

Jeanine paced back and forth in her bedroom weighing the suggestion Bellus had given her. She worried about the emotional damage it would cause Tris but, Jeanine wanted to remind the young woman that two could play the game.

 _Is she fooling me? Making me feel only to ruin me in the end?_

She collapsed on her bed, her hair falling freely in pools around her face. She hadn't been able to sleep since the confrontation with the younger doctor. She was unsure of the woman's motives, and that made Jeanine uneasy. There was rumors of individuals in the faction who opposed her course of action against Abnegation. She felt as if her time at the top may only be borrowed. Could Bellus be an informant?

Jeanine curled up into a ball, rubbing her hands against her arms. A coldness slammed her body, she burrowed her way under the covers, trying to get warm. She closed her eyes hoping the sleep would take her over.

 _Would Caleb be helpful?_

She knew that showing Tris that her brother betrayed her would have little effect on the tests. But she couldn't help but wonder, what would it illuminate in the understanding of Divergence. Caleb was loyal, Jeanine knew this, he acted as leverage to gain information about Tris as well as information about the factionless. She shuddered at the idea of factionless holding any semblance of power. They were factionless because they couldn't and chose not to belong to a group. What did that say about their character? About their work ethic and need to coexist with others? Instead, they chose the life of filth of who knows what?

Jeanine sat up in bed, her mind was awake and she knew sleep would not come to her tonight. She found herself walking to her office, her feet cold against the floor. She turned on her computer, the blue from the screen illuminating the room. Entering her password she waited for a moment.

 _Do I want to do this?_

She sighed heavily. She knew it would prove she was compromised if she didn't.

She began drafting the email.

Tris awoke in her cell. The days were beginning to blur together and she felt an unmistakable numbness creep through her body. Her death would be soon. She sighed, swinging her legs over the bed, she stretched and rolled her neck to relieve the tension.

She looked at the cameras that were observing her. She wondered if Jeanine was watching, almost hoping she was. Whatever it was-the confusion, the anger, the tenderness between them excited her, made her feel alive, and also frightened her. Her heart would be in pieces if she was in different circumstances.

A coldness swept through her body, a lump caught in her throat. She begged for the tears to come, but instead a lump was stuck in her throat, there would be no release.

Her feet felt cold against the concrete, and she let herself feel, albeit momentarily, the sensation.

Tris worried about Four, hoping he was okay and whatever tests they were doing on him were not as...invasive as hers had been. She sighed audibly, feelings of guilt leaving as quickly as they came. She felt hopeless. Knowing there was nothing she could do to save him made her feel weak and helpless.

She knew he was in as much pain as she was. Tris wondered if he had to go under extra testing with Jeanine as she had to. Or, if another researcher monitored and managed those tests.

Tris stretched her hands above her head, feeling her spine elongate. Her cell door opened, and Jeanine was standing there, no guards. Jeanine walked in, the door closing behind her. Tris slowly inhaled, looking at the woman in front of her, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Her hair in waves around her face, her shirt untucked from her skirt and her heels in her hands. She was beautiful.

"Hello Jeanine." Tris said, cooly. The woman that stood before her was not the powerful Jeanine the world knew, instead, here stood a vulnerable woman.

Jeanine kneeled in front of Tris, dropping her shoes and placing her head in the younger woman's lap, she began sobbing. Tris placed a delicate hand on Jeanine, rubbing her shoulders gently.

"Jeanine…." Tris' voice trialed off.

Jeanine looked at the woman above her, her vision blurred by her tears. She smiled, "Run away with me."

"What?" Tris stood, backing away from the woman in front of her.

"Run away with me." Jeanine said, calmly and slowly, standing up.

"Jeanine…" Tris; voice trailed again, she took a step towards the blonde, she reached her arms out, wrapping them around the frail woman in front of her.

"We can go right now, and get away from all of this. You and me."

"There is no way we can just go away." Tris told Jeanine.

"Right now, we can drive off, hide in the outskirts of town, watch how the world changes from afar."

Tris gently held Jeanine's face, "We can't do that. This is more than just us now."

"It can be just about us. You and me, I'm ready to change."

Tris shook her head, "I want it to be easy, I wish…"

"Don't wish," Jeanine grabbed Tris hand, tugging it, "Let's go."

Tris pulled Jeanine closer to her wrapping her arms around the older woman. She nuzzled her face in the crook of Jeanine's neck, inhaling deeply, closing her eyes. Tris' heart was racing. It was an attractive offer, the thought of just Jeanine and Tris living a life together excited Tris and frightened her. What could they hope their life could be with everything happening around them? She kissed Jeanine softly on the neck.

"We could build a small home on the outskirts of Amity, we could grow our own food. Wake when the sun rises and sleep when the moon is full. A simple life. A better life." Jeanine was lost in the fantasy of her own mind, clinging desperately to Tris.

 _I've made so many mistakes in my life, I can't make another one. No more regrets._

Jeanine kissed Tris softly on the lips.

"It sounds wonderful," Tris began, "Jeanine, I can't abandon everyone now. You've caused too much damage that needs to be fixed. We can't just end this when you've messed up so much already. You have to fix this, then we can move on."

"I don't know how." Jeanine said.

"Tell your people to stop hunting down Divergents. Tell them to stop creating division, you have the power to end it all. To bring back peace." Tris was pleading with her, grasping tightly to Jeanine's shirt.

"It is more than just me now, Tris. It is the entire faction, if I stop it now, they turn against me. What I know, what I have seen, would make you want to do what I have been doing. Some already think I am compromised just because of you. They don't know. None of you do." Jeanine pulled away from Tris.

"Then tell me, tell me what you know." Tris begged. She needed to understand, she wanted to understand why this woman was doing what she was doing. "I want to understand."

Jeanine cupped Tris' face, her eyes filled with pain. "Oh, Tris, I wish I could, but I must carry this burden alone. I can't do that to you."

Tris pulled her in, both of them standing forehead to forehead. "You don't have to do this alone. I am here with you. Trust me."

"You don't get it. I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. They are watching always, at all times. If they knew that you knew, it would all be over. This entire city, it would be gone."

"What!? Jeanine, you're sounding crazy. Who is they?"

"They took our memories, they didn't want us to know who we came from. They rewrote our history books, they made us believe that we had a choice, a destiny, a path. It was a lie, all of it."

"Jeanine, calm down. Who are you talking about?"

"I can't say."

"Yes you can, it's me, Jeanine, it's me."

"I am protecting you, Tris, can't you see that? Can't you see why we need to go away now."

"I am not going anywhere, I am not leaving all these people behind to be killed by your drones." Tris sat down on her bed, hanging her head. "You say this is above you, but where I sit, all I see is your hand in everything."

Jeanine felt her face turn red with frustration. She wanted to tell Tris everything she knew, but the truth was too painful. "You act as if I am a monster." Jeanine's shoulders slumped, and she slid down the wall, sitting on the cold concrete floors.

"You are a monster, but the disgusting thing is, is that I see the light in you."

Both the women sat in silence.

Finally, Jeanine spoke, "You were my last chance."

Tris looked at her quizzically.

"At a happy ending."

"Don't say that, Jeanine. Please, don't say that." Tris reached her arm out, hoping that Jeanine would meet her in the middle. Jeanine didn't reach out.

They hung their heads, never had silence felt so loud.

Finally, Jeanine spoke, "I am sorry Beatrice. For what is coming next." She rose then, signaling to open the doors. Tris watched as the doors closed behind the woman, leaving her in darkness.

Tris found herself in a familiar surroundings. She looked at the white walls of the laboratory, she was at ease, comfortable. She smiled, it was sick, she knew, but still, the repetitive tests she was undergoing allowed her to almost look forward to something. She spent her days…? She still had no concept of time, but she spent so much time alone in her cell, it was a relief to be amongst people, even if it meant the tests. Jeanine had been conducting the tests less frequently lately, but when she did get a glimpse of Jeanine, and it was only a glimpse, at times Jeanine would be observing from the observation deck and once Tris realized, the blonde would be turning away.

It hurt, but it was also a comfort. She knew Jeanine was thinking about her as often as she was thinking of the older woman.

She laid down on the table feeling the familiar straps press down on her body. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Beatrice." A familiar voice.

She opened her eyes, stunned. "Caleb." She squirmed against the shackles. "Caleb! What are you doing here." He undid the restraints, and she sat up, hugging him tightly. She pulled away, keeping him at arms length. Her eyes were wide, in shock. He was wearing a lab coat.

"Don't." He started

"You've betrayed everyone." Tris was at a loss for words, her eyes filling with tears.

"You don't understand, Beatrice. What is going on outside these walls is bigger than our problems." His voice was calm, detached.

"What about Mom and Dad? Are you just going to forget about them? About what she did to them?" Tris voice was rising with anger, she wanted to spit at him, punch him. Hurt him like he was hurting her.

He scoffed, "Are you kidding me? After what I know you've done with Dr. Matthews." He shook his head, "You have no room to talk."

Tris grabbed his wrist, forcing him to look at her, "It is me Caleb. Your sister, tell me why you're allowing them to do this to me?"

He was silent and stared her coldly in the eyes, "You know why Beatrice. Faction over blood."

Tris screamed them, tears falling from her eyes and she slapped him across the face. "I hope you can live with your choices."

"You're worried about me? Look at you, smitten over Dr. Matthews. I've watched the tapes Beatrice, do you really believe that she loves you? Her displays of supposed affection in your cell was real? That the two of you would, could, live a simple life together?" He laughed cruelly in her face.

 _Why is he doing this, who has he become?_

Listening to her brother belittle her, made her stomach twist in knots. She wanted to believe that he would be there for her always, be her brother. She should have known-he had chosen Erudite after all. Tris bowed her head in shame. He was right, why would Jeanine love her? How could she?

A moment passed, and Tris lips were quivering. She bit down, feeling weak and ashamed.

"Where did you hide your books?" Tris asked, softly.

"What?"

"You chose Erudite, how did you hide your books from our parents?" She looked up at her brother, his face was soft, pale, slightly Vitamin D deficient. He had dark circles under his eyes-he had been studying long hours, sleep wouldn't grant him peace at night.

Caleb softly smiled, "Between my bed and the wall, that way when I would make my bed in the morning no one could tell."

Tris held his hands in hers, "Growing up as we did, we hid a lot of things from one another. I thought I knew you Caleb, and now I know I never knew you at all." Tris sharply pulled his hands down, causing him to lose balance, slamming his head onto the table. He stumbled backwards, collapsing on to the floor, desperately trying to regain balance.

Tris stood then, over him and punched him swiftly in the face, blood poured out of his nose and he screamed in pain. She backed away from him then, hoping he understood how much pain she caused him.

"I still love you, even if you are fucked up." Tris spat, putting her hands up as guards swarmed her.

Jeanine watched the scene unfold from the observation deck. It didn't surprise her that Tris reacted the way she did-she was prone to violence and Dauntless was one of her many aptitudes. Watching as Tris punched her brother and then surrendered signaled a moment of transition in the study of Beatrice Prior. Before this moment, her violent behavior was never directed towards people who she cared about, if anything, Ms. Prior would allow those she loved to hurt her.

But this moment, Jeanine walked out onto the observation deck. Caleb was still screaming, poor pitiful Caleb, thrown into a situation she knew he wouldn't be able to handle. While his scores during his initiation test was quite impressive, scoring the highest in his class, his ability to handle things outside of controlled environments was something else entirely. She was surprised he came back to her alive. Very surprised.

Schoolboy crushes on their teachers were strong motivators, after all.

The guards swarmed Tris, pulling her arms behind her back, restraining her. Beatrice wasn't resisting. The pool of blood that was coming from Caleb added color to the rather sterile laboratory, lab technicians were rushing to his side, escorting him out of the lab.

It had been a week since Jeanine had any one on one contact with Tris, the majority of her time spent observing from afar, trying to keep the distance between herself and the subject. Tris brought emotions out of her that she hadn't felt, or wanted to feel, in a long time.

Jeanine found herself at the bottom of the staircase. Her body had betrayed her once again.

The click of her heels against the floor, signalled Tris to snap her head in Jeanine's direction. The girl smiled. Jeanine smiled back.

"Ms. Matthews." Tris greeted her as the guard placed her hands in cuffs and sitting her in a chair.

"Ms. Prior." Jeanine responded, signaling for the guards to leave. They scurried away.

"I was wondering when I would get time with you again." Tris said, looking up at the older woman, her eyes were twinkling.

"Did you miss me, Tris?" Jeanine asked, her voice calm, smooth and in control.

"Miss may be too strong of a word, how could I feel your absence when I know you're watching? You're everywhere Jeanine."

Jeanine kneeled next to Tris, pushing a strand of Tris' hair behind an ear. "You hurt those you love, is that who you've become?"

"Just those who have hurt me."

"Is he not allowed unconditional love, despite his shortcomings?" Jeanine was curious.

Tris looked away from the older woman, with Jeanine, the questions were never as simple as they sounded. They always had another meaning, a question with many sides.

"You can be in love, but know when it isn't healthy." Tris responded, barely a whisper.

"Self preservation is important to the psyche, especially when things are beyond just the party of two." Jeanine evoked the conversation in the cell before, saying it aloud pained her heart.

"Life is unfair and love is a cruel game." Tris turned her head to face Jeanine, their faces just inches apart. Tris wanted to close the gap between them, she could smell the perfume that Jeanine wore, lightly floral and aged, sophisticated, classic. Her breath quickened and she felt a faint flush spread across her face.

Tris wanted Jeanine to close the space between them. She longed for the woman's touch.

Jeanine saw the arousal in Tris' face, how her pupils dilated. Jeanine leaned in even closer, her lips just centimeters away from Tris. Tris leaned in to close the gap, but as quickly as her lips brushed against Jeanine's, the blonde pulled away.

Tris was breathing heavily, her eyes heavily lidded, she closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.

 _She was always such a tease._

"You've won Jeanine." Tris opened her eyes, looking at the older woman who cocked an eyebrow in response. "You knew bringing in Caleb would change the rules. What do you need from me now?"

Jeanine smiled, "Four has escaped."

"He has?" Tris tried to sound surprised, but she knew it already, had heard the commotion and murmur from the guards. He had come to her cell door and promised he would be back for her, did he? Or was that another simulation.

"Yes, he has. The security footage shows him coming to your cell door and telling you something before running away, what did he tell you?"

Tris leaned forward, jutting her jaw out. "To survive, that he would be back with more people. That I would be the one to kill you."

Jeanine smirked. "You? Kill me?" She scoffed, straddling Tris. "Doesn't he know about the control I already have over you?" Jeanine kissed Tris then, eliciting a moan out of the younger woman. She smirked under the kiss, and went deeper, grabbing a fist full of Tris' hair and pulling her head back before kissing her neck. She could feel the goosebumps rise on the younger woman's skin, _and he thinks she'll be the one to kill me?_

Jeanine stood up then, and Tris whimpered in response. "Does he know about us Tris?"

Tris shook her head no..

"Would it break his heart if he knew what I've done to you, what you've done to me?"

Tris shook her head yes. Jeanine laughed. "Of course it would, he is in love with you after all." Jeanine placed her hands on her hips, "I think it might do him some good if I sent him footage of our sessions, Beatrice."

"Jeanine, no." Tris stood then, her hands still behind her back. "What's between you and me has nothing to do with him."

"Weren't you the one who told me it was bigger than just the two of us?"

Tris hung her head, "This is different."

Jeanine placed a finger under the girl's chin, forcing Tris to look at Jeanine. "You can't change the rules when you see fit. That's not how this works. It's one or the other."

"That's not fair." Tris whispered, knowing her words would do nothing. "You can be cruel."

"Why am I cruel, Beatrice, tell me." Jeanine's voice was soft, restrained.

"What Four and I have is safe, comfortable. Who I want, I can never have." Tris locked eyes with Jeanine pleading, hoping the woman would understand. "Don't taint what we have, while we still can have it."

Jeanine took a step back, pushing herself away from Tris. Her heart aching. She knew everyone was watching this exchange, she wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. Why had the universe taunt her the way it did? Would she ever deserve love, to be loved and to love unashamedly? Jeanine thought about her reputation, knowing that all eyes were on her in this moment. She looked over at the observation deck and saw Dr. Bellus watching them out the window, notebook in hand.

"Whatever you think we have Beatrice, is a psychosis. You're experiencing stockholm syndrome and are falling in love with me." With each word, Jeanine saw the pain begin to etch its way on the younger woman's face. Jeanine wanted to die. "I do not love you, Miss Prior. I have never loved you, and have only used you for testing."

Tris collapsed to her knees, sobbing, mumbling.

"What did you say Beatrice?" Jeanine asked, unable to understand the woman in front of her.

Tris stopped crying, wiping her nose on her shoulder. "I would rather you use me than leave me. Please Dr. Matthews, use me."


	11. Chapter 11

Tris sat in her cell looking at the note Jeanine gave her.

 _An outfit, for your last supper._

The dress that laid on the bed was stunning white silk with an overlay that looked almost opalescent. Tris took of her clothes and gingerly put on the dress. It looked delicate, as if too harsh a breeze could break it into little pieces. Once on, she realized how sturdy and comfortable the gown was. She was still barefoot.

She pushed her hair behind her ears and waited in front of the door until it opened. She was escorted up a familiar path to Jeanine's apartment.

She walked into the apartment that was dimly lit, hearing the door lock behind her. Tris sat at the dining table and smoothed out her dress, crossing her legs at her ankles. She felt proper, as if she was back in the days of abnegation. There was calming music playing throughout the house, a piano interlude with the accompaniment of a full string section. As the music welled and crescendoed, she felt the hair on her arms rise in anticipation. She briefly rubbed her hands against her arms, forcing the goosebumps to go away.

A bottle of wine sat on top of the table, opened and ready to be poured, Tris was curious. She had never tasted alcohol, as it was staunchly forbidden in abnegation. She poured two glasses, one for herself and one for Jeanine. She smelled the liquid, it had a sweet aroma to it, and was slightly stung her nostrils. She took a sip, letting the liquid coat her mouth. It was zesty, with a bright taste making her mouth water. It reminded her of a sweet, almost too sweet, grape juice. She liked it, taking another drink from the red liquid.

"I thought Abnegation doesn't allow drinking." The cool voice of Jeanine came up from behind, and Tris slowly turned around, seeing the woman in front of her. There was a lump in Tris throat and she cleared it. Jeanine was wearing a beautiful royal blue gown that hugged her body and pooled at the floor. Her hair was loose, falling in waves around her face.

"Jeanine." Tris finally said putting the glass of wine down and then standing up. "You look…" she was at a loss of words as she gazed at the woman in front of her. A slight blush crept up Jeanine's face.

"Thank you, Tris. You look stunning as well." Jeanine walked to the other side of the table, motioning for Tris to sit. Tris complied, scooting in her chair.

"I, uh, poured you a glass of wine." Tris stated. Jeanine chuckled and Tris cocked an eyebrow.

"This was meant to be indulged after dinner. It is a port, a dessert wine."

"Oh. Well, you learn something new everyday."

There was a moment of silence, Tris nervously reached for her glass and downed the glass. The sweetness was almost too much. "Jeanine, is this my last supper?" Tris looked up at the Jeanine, searching her eyes for an answer she knew would not come.

Jeanine looked away before answering, "Yes, Tris, I am afraid it is."

The tears that Tris thought were to come did not, but instead a sobering realization hit-her own mortality. "Well, at least I get to wear this pretty dress." Tris poured herself another glass and reached out across the table, touching Jeanine's hand gingerly. It was only then that Jeanine could look at the younger woman. "I am not angry with you, Jeanine. I understand."

Jeanine hesitated, confused. How could this young woman understand their situation when Jeanine was still at a loss? Everything about their relationship and the events that had transpired through the last month baffled and bewildered her. She believed love was something that was built through a mutual understanding, a shared relationship-a partnership. Here Tris, made her feel things she wished she had never felt, the ache and pain in her heart felt sometimes like she could not breathe. Tris drove her wild, made her cry more than she had ever in her life, and laugh and feel with her entire body. Jeanine was certain that what she once knew to be true, was no longer, and she knew she stood on an unstable foundation.

"The pain of duality, Tris. We have lived two lives since our paths crossed and sometimes I am confused at what one is the Truth." Jeanine couldn't eat, not now. She downed the glass of wine in front of her, pouring herself another glass.

"I would like to believe that in these walls, in your apartment, we live our Truth. Outside these walls we are merely pretending, playing the role that society needs us to do."

Jeanine stood and walked over to Tris, kneeling and placing her head in her lap. Tris gently ran her fingers through Jeanine's hair feeling the softness of her tendrils. She lightly pulled Jeanine's head up so they were looking at each other, Jeanine's eyes shone bright in the dim light, wet from the tears she wept. Tris wiped them away, and leaned in and kissed Jeanine delicately on each one of her cheeks before her lips. A deep moan escaped from within Jeanine and she stood up, pulling Tris with her. The two women locked in a tight embrace, pulling and tugging at each other's lips, wanting.

They found themselves in Jeanine's bedroom.

Tris stripped off her dress, standing naked before Jeanine before laying down on the bed. "You can use me however you want, Jeanine. I need to feel you one last time."

Holding Tris hands above her head, Jeanine claimed ownership of Tris' necking, kissing and biting as she traveled her body. Tris' nipples were hard and Jeanine happily took one in her mouth, a gently suck, and she playfully brushed her teeth against them causing Tris to gasp and squirm underneath her. "Do you like when I do that Tris?" Jeanine asked.

"Yes." Tris hissed. Jeanine took the next nipple in her mouth and this time bit a little harder. A moan and scream escaped from Tris and Jeanine smiled. She had trained her well.

Jeanine let go of Tris' hands then. "Help me out of this dress will you?" she turned around and motioned to the zipper.

Tris lowered the zipper letting the silk gown fall to the floor. Jeanine's skin was smooth. Tris let her hands trail down Jeanine's skin. She leaned in, letting her arms wrap around the woman's body, taking in her warmth, inhaling deeply. She would miss this, but would she, if her consciousness was no longer?

"Do you believe in an afterlife, Jeanine?" Tris asked, slowly turning the older woman around.

"I do not." Tris knew how Jeanine would reply, but deep down inside she was hoping for a different answer. Tris looked down towards the ground, not wanting Jeanine to see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Jeanine lifted Tris head up. "Don't cry Tris. There is no pain once it's all over."

Tris looked at Jeanine then, "Promise me that you won't make it hurt? Just kill me, soft and sweetly."

"I promise." The two women embraced one another, holding on tightly.

Jeanine kissed Tris softly on the lips, finding herself pushing Tris gently back on her bed. Jeanine took in the younger woman's body, making sure she would never forget the perfection that was beneath her. Her hands roamed Tris' skin, feeling the rough spots, the scars from her the battles she had already fought.

Jeanine leaned in and kissed Tris softly on her cheeks, trailing kisses down her jaw line, until she landed on her lips.

"You're beautiful." Jeanine remarked, placing soft kisses down Tris' neck, creating a trail down towards...

Tris inhaled sharply as Jeanine took her nipple in her mouth, sucking and biting. Jeanine continued south, leaving bite marks along her path, stopping only to tease, only to bite, only to prolong the inevitable.

"Please." Tris pleaded, her eyes wide and demanding. She was well mannered until the end.

Jeanine followed a familiar dance, one that she was able to get back into easily.

Jeanine's' mouth found Tris' cunt, her tongue licking Tris' clit. Tris' gasped, her hands wildly reaching for Jeanine's hair, pushing her further. Tris' body began quivering underneath Jeanine. With each whimper and moan that came out of Tris' mouth, Jeanine pushed further, quickening in her pace until Tris was grabbing at the bed sheets, moaning.

Tris needed this, she needed to feel Jeanine's tongue on her, pleasuring her one last time. Tris found her body melting, distancing itself from any thought.

Tris' hands found their way on the back of Jeanine's head guiding her, loosing herself. Tris' legs wrapped around Jeanine's head. She moaned in pleasure as Jeanine continued slow and long licks, Tris' back arched as Jeanine's tongue entered her, invading and demanding, claiming ownership. Tris would forever belong to Jeanine. Her eyes closed, and she screamed out as Jeanine claimed Tris' clit again, licking and sucking with passion and ferocity.

Jeanine felt Tris' legs clench around her head and as her body began to constrict, she knew she had to keep going. She wanted to make Tris cum, a small death before the inevitable. She shook her head, forcing those thoughts to leave her. She needed Tris to know that she loved her and she always would.

Tris felt her legs lock up, building upwards to her abdomen, her toes and hands curling, she couldn't breathe, she felt as if her breath would never return. Finally, a release. Shockwaves crashed throughout her body, and she inhaled deeply as if it was her first breath of life. Her eyes shot open and the room glowed anew, the world seemed brighter, vibrant. She felt her body awash with dopamine and endorphins. She was smiling. Her mind and body were calm, had the world stood still? She saw the world as if it was in slow motion, Jeanine's eyelashes slowly blinking, a soft smile on Jeanine's lips made Tris' heart tighten.

Tris mouth found Jeanine's and Tris kissed the woman deeply. These last moments of life, the last moment that Tris would be on this Earth would be spent next to the woman she admired deeply.

They both laid on the bed, Jeanine stroking Tris' hair looking at the woman in front of her, how calm and perfect this moment was. How she wish she could stop time and allow them to be captured here forever. A gentle sigh escaped Tris' mouth and her eyes fluttered open, locking eyes with Jeanine. Tris softly smiled, leaning in and gently kissed Jeanine on her forehead.

"I love you Jeanine." She whispered.

"I love you Tris."

The morning light created a soft warm glow in Jeanine's bedroom. The older woman awoke first, her arms wrapped tightly around Tris, spooning her against her body. Tris smelt like soap, and slightly of chemicals. Living in a cell and a laboratory for weeks produces a certain sterile smell. But underneath the scent was a gentle sweetness. She kissed Tris gently on the back of her head. Tris slowly squirmed beneath the covers, popping her head slowly out from beneath. Sleep still in her eyes, she slowly rubbed her eyes awake.

"What time is it?" Tris asked.

"8 am." Jeanine responded.

This was the first time in however long she had been at Erudite that Tris knew the time. Ironic she thought, as it wouldn't really have mattered either way.

"Let's do it." Tris whispered, looking up at Jeanine.

Jeanine laughed, kissing the younger woman gently on the forehead. "My dear, we have been 'doing it' all night…"

Tris shook her head, "No. Let's run away while we still have time." There was a steadfast determination in Tris' voice that made Jeanine's heart beat wildly in her chest. Her mind raced, telling her that it was a bad idea.

"We have to go now." Jeanine shot out of bed, pulling Tris up with her. She opened up her closet and threw on underwear, workout pants and a t-shirt that clung tightly to her body. She reached deep down within her draw and found two older sweaters from when she was a young Erudite, putting one on, giving the other to Tris. She quickly passed Tris a pair of workout pants and a tshirt. She giggled as she saw that the younger woman had to roll up the pants to get them to fit her smaller frame.

Jeanine took a duffle bag and filled it with essentials, underwear, tshirts, socks, coats, sweaters and pants. She pulled on a pair of sneakers, and gave Tris her extra ones. She thanked the universe that they both wore the same sized shoes.

"Jeanine, how are we going to get out of the building without anyone seeing us?" Tris asked, lacing up her shoes.

"I can override the security system and open up all doors from the main computer in my office. I can make it look like a system failure for 30 minutes-that should be enough time to escape, it'll open up all the doors and I know the backway out."

Jeanine pulled the duffle bag across her body, letting it hang on her hip. She walked over to her office and Tris followed behind. The younger woman wrung her hands nervously, passing back and forth.

"You can't second guess yourself." Jeanine said, looking over Tris.

"I'm not." She said, her shoes still dangling in her hands.

Jeanine opened her computer, entering numbers into a security protocol software. "When I click enter, we will have 30 minutes to get out of here. Are you ready?"

Tris put on the shoes. "Yes."

Jeanine clicked "enter."

Both women looked at one another and dashed out of the apartment, as they ran down the hallway, gun shots and sounds of breaking glass were heard in the distance.

"What? I thought you said no one would find out right away." Tris was startled, she grabbed Jeanine's hand and they continued down the hallway, quickening their speed.

As they turned a corner, they were greeted by guns pointed at them. They both put their hands up, "Don't shoot." Tris said, hoping her request would be granted. She grabbed Jeanine's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Stand down!" She heard a familiar voice boom in the back. The crowd parted and Four emerged.

"Four?" Tris was startled, he grip on Jeanine loosening. "What are you doing here?" She let go of Jeanine's hand, running to him, wrapping him in her arms.

"I told you I'd come back for you." He said, looking at her from arms length, a smile wide on his face.

Tris smile disappeared as she turned back to Jeanine, who was grasping onto the straps of her bag, her eyes darting around, trying to calculate an exit.

Four put up his gun, aiming to shoot her. Tris, jumped in the middle, holding up her hands. "Don't!" She demanded.

Four looked at her, then back at Jeanine, his jaw clenching. "Tris? What? After all she's done." Tris pushed the barrel of his gun towards the floor.

"Don't." Tris said again, turning her back and looking at Jeanine.

Jeanine reached her hand out, and Tris took it gingerly. Their fingers interlocked. Tris brought Jeanine's hands up to her lips and kissed them gently. Jeanine closed her eyes, a tear escaping her eyes.

"Tris." Jeanine whispered, her grey eyes locking with Tris.

"We both knew…" Tris trailed off, wiping the tear from Jeanine's eyes.

Jeanine grabbed Tris then, pushing their foreheads together. "I'm sorry I failed you."

Tris sighed softly. "In another universe, in another time."

"We would be together." Jeanine whispered, before pushing Tris away.

At that moment, erudite agents came around the corner, guns blaring, bullets flying.

Tris wished one had hit her.

Jeanine wished the same.

Tris and Four turned around, running away. As she turned a corner, Tris looked back at Jeanine one last time, both sharing an understanding smile.

 **FIN.**


End file.
